Let’s talk about pageant life: What did you love and what did you not?
I loved being able to meet new people and having a singular goal to focus on. Similar to a race day for marathon training imagining the thrilling possibility of winning and having your life totally change. Participating in pageants was enticing, glamorous, and competitive. I learned a lot about myself and how to maintain discipline through the entire process.
What was challenging was how quickly pageant training made me grow up. As the eldest child in my family, I already had a lot of the “be a young lady” reinforcement training ingrained in me. My childhood was peppered with constant reminders to cross my legs, make sure my hair was neatly groomed, and to sit still. When I participated in my first pageant at 15, I felt like I was already behind on learning to apply makeup. In retrospect, I felt like I had rush through my teen years.
How do you feel about the aspects of pageantry that focus so intensely on “beauty”?
The “beauty” part of it is actually a big point of contention between the old guard that wants to keep pageantry traditional, and the new guard trying to evolve the pageant to be modern and more “with the times.” I am a member of the Miss America Diversity Initiative Task Force, which was recently created to examine considerations that will be presented to the Board of Directors. We are talking about how to make the pageant more accessible and current. No solid announcements have been made yet but the underlying agreement we all share is that it’s time for Miss America to innovate. If that requires a re-evaluation of its relationship to “beauty,” that’s a good thing.
Switching gears a little to Asian/Asian-American representation. You were the runner up to Miss America in 2014, who was also Asian-American. The two of you stood on a national stage celebrated as two of the most beautiful, intelligent, graceful, and globally-thinking women in America, by many standards. What does that mean, representationally? Did you think about that then?
I grew up in a large Asian-American community in San Francisco and interestingly enough, racial identity was seldom discussed in my personal circles. However, after I won the Miss Chinatown USA, I had an uncle who was disappointed that I did not use my title to champion awareness of the Chinese Exclusion Act and other injustices brought on to the Chinese over the decades. I understood where my Uncle was coming from — he grew up in a time when the Chinese faced racism on the regular. He wanted me to use my platform to be an activist.
I personally did not experience an upbringing fraught with rampant racism. Therefore, I didn’t see myself being the token Asian-woman-advocating-for-cultural-competency. I had the luxury of being able to choose a platform from among any social issue. It’s the same privilege enjoyed by women who are not people of color. I’d say that’s progress.
I also found it funny how some people behave when they come across someone who has an opportunity to promote their agenda. It’s not to say that the Chinese Exclusion Act doesn’t deserve more attention. I just didn’t have the authentic experiences that would have fueled any meaningful activism.
When we spoke earlier you mentioned Vanessa Williams. Her Miss America win was groundbreaking, as she was the first Black woman to take the crown. But, as you noted, she has a lot of features that would be considered attractive by Western and/or White standards. It’s not as though she was representing the average Black American woman. Does that matter? If so, how?
Some people believe that if a black woman wins Miss America, it’s not enough if she isn’t an accurate representation of what they think is a real black woman. In that sense, the win doesn’t count because she’s not representing black people if she has white features. It’s not real progress unless the representation is on their terms.
Others are a bit more amenable to viewing racial diversity and inclusiveness as a constant work in progress. Any person of color attaining success is a win, big or small.
Pageants operate within a very strict, Western definition of beauty. High cheekbones, clear skin, thin, tall, fit, and every other common quality you can probably spot in any fashion magazine at your dentist’s office. When I was named a finalist, one could say that the bamboo ceiling was starting to crack, but frankly the competition results were based off of judges’ subjective evaluation of women who all kinda looked the same. Our bodies were all trim and we shared big hair, big eyes, and even spoke with the same enthusiastic, neutral accent.
I’m often assumed to be half-Caucasian because I have some Western features. It was awesome to almost be Miss America but I also know that I probably would not have gotten that far if not for the fact that it was pure luck that let me fit a mold that none of us had any part in creating.
So then, knowing all of this, how do you navigate reconciling pageantry and the pageant system with feminism?
There seems to be an overarching trend that speaks to there being an illusion of a safe space to comment, voice concerns, and criticize. It’s fine to have your view unless, of course, that viewpoint doesn’t agree with the mainstream dogma. Conservatives attack liberals all the time for allegedly representing inclusivity and tolerance, but then those same liberals have been caught guiltily of shutting down all viewpoints that they don’t agree with.
The dichotomy between feminism and pageantry is very similar. Some would argue that “real” feminists would never compete in a pageant. Others, like me, think that they don’t have to be mutually exclusive. I have seen groups of self-proclaimed feminists lambast pageants for even existing. Just check any comment trail following Miss Universe, Miss USA, and Miss America. Their criticism all boils down to pageants not fitting in to their idea of feminism.
Feminists champion women’s choice and the freedom for women to achieve true social equality: her body, her life, her decisions. From the pro-pageant point of view, these so-called feminists who attack pageantry are hypocrites. Hypocrites who say they want to maximize women’s choice and yet want to extinguish any event in which women are evaluated on physical appearances, even if the women are willing and excited to be judged.
My personal view is that removing women’s choices is not the best way to promote the advancement of women. If a woman wants to walk around in a swimsuit onstage, why should she be stopped? Should a contestant who loves competing in pageants give up her passion in order to satisfy someone else’s beliefs on how folks of her gender should behave?
Double standards for gender roles also persist. It’s interesting that today’s pageant women, once a celebrated achievement, are more easily criticized and face challenges disclosing their pageant past once they enter the professional world. Meanwhile, men with professional athletics backgrounds bask in the glow of a generations-old value system that commands respect and admiration across all industries. Sports is essentially a pageant of sorts, reducing a person’s worth to being only as good as they’re physical skills and appeal.
So, then, is pageantry something you’d recommend to young girls?
In most cases, I would not recommend any beauty competition before middle school. The exception would be unless the young lady really wants to do it. My view is that today’s kids are already growing up so quickly. They should enjoy the short years they have to be out playing, experimenting, making friends, having fun, and not worrying about body image or how to impress grownup judges.
Final thoughts?
Pageantry has shaped a lot of my experiences and life, and I am grateful for it. I am also grateful for the opportunities to push it forward, as we must with just about everything. My feminism doesn’t push other women to do or not do, but only to progress, and I’m excited to see what the future holds.
So what’s next for you?
I’ve just begun co-hosting This is SF, a Bay Area-based lifestyle show. It’s been awesome to be on camera, exploring the wonders of San Francisco has to offer. I love having the platform to continue representing women and pushing us forward.
Crystal co-hosts This is SF which airs on Sundays at 3pm on CBS San Francisco. Follow her adventures on Instagram @crystalclues.
