They’re women.
Let’s all stop calling them “girls.”
Dear Brothers from Other Mothers,
It’s a total social norm for us to refer to grown women as “girls.”
“I met a great girl…
This girl I work with…
Are there any girls at the party?”
We’ve got to change this. Because language is more than just a way to understand culture; it also creates and perpetuates it. And if we want to cultivate a culture that regards women as equals and respects them in all the ways, then let’s call a spade a spade — and a woman a woman.
Sometimes, it’s a cute option. I understand that using the words ‘girl’ or ‘girls’ can be playful, youthful, fun, and all the things, but I think we should opt into it when it feels right instead of using it as a default whenever we’re casually referencing a female over the age of 18. Especially one we may be dating, sleeping with, or working with.
Words can change the world. And not just the super quotable ones from famous speeches. I’m talking about the words we use every single day. The ones we’ve normalized and never questioned. We use them without consciousness or optionality, and accept them as status quo. Words like girls.
You are not sleeping with a girl. You’re sleeping with a woman. Doesn’t it feel better to say women? Don’t you want a woman or women in your life, instead of girls?
I know what you’re thinking. Not too long ago, Beyonce asked “Who runs the world?” And the answer was a decisive, “Girls!” But that’s Beyonce.
We. Are. Not. Beyonce.
From now on, whenever we’re referencing the females we’re dating, sleeping with, chatted with while in line getting coffee, and more, let’s refer to them as women, not girls.
They. Are. Not. Girls.
And by acknowledging that, we’re real men.
Here. We. Go.
Love, Jmw.
About me
I believe that self-expression is the key to freedom. So I’ve spent my life building things that give people a voice. My latest project is Touchpoint, the town hall about sex and partnership. I ask a lot of questions, I’m always in overalls, and I live with my dog, Koj, in New York City.
For more info about my work, talks, and all the things, check out lovejmw.com.
