Moments of Thought: My Search for Meaning in Long Point State Park

Today, it’s rainy, and I walk Long Point State Park in New York on the banks of Lake Chautauqua as alone as I can be. It’s April, the season of puddles and mud, and the price of my seclusion is wet feet and muddy shoes padding on soaking leaves, but it’s worth it. Out here, on my own, I am free of distraction, and I can let my mind bound in the direction it wants to go. Today, it’s searching for meaning.

At the age of 51, I recently took my savings and moved from California to Western New York. I gave up a tenured professorship that I loved but was so overwhelming that it left no time for family, art, writing, friends, or religion. It was the right choice but a difficult one. I have always followed the teachings of Viktor Frankl who believed that if people have meaning to their lives, they can get through any difficulties. He also believed that when we don’t, all hardship seems pointless. His theories were put to the test when as a Jew, he was inducted into a Nazi concentration camp. Even there he found meaning.

I have been unemployed for five months now, starting to earn a living as a freelance writer, but I am on an emotional and spiritual journey. I am at a moment of great transition and searching for new purpose. For twenty-five years, my students helped to give my life meaning. Without them, I am likely to be confused as to who I am and what I am doing.

That’s why I have taken a walk into the woods on this muddy morning. That it is muddy is…