The miracle that happens when you learn a new language

There is an invisible wall between most humans. We may live close by, or even see each other everyday, yet be separated by something we are not even conscious of. Our cultural difference. Our language. Our vision of each other.

I consider myself as a very open-minded person. Reaching out to others, genuinely interested in their well-being, no matter their origin. But two years ago, I had a revelation. I was starting to learn Mandarin by then, and just moved to Madrid for a few months for work. I was finishing very late, and therefore mainly relying on small mom and pop shops to get some food when coming home. As always, the new city and life were so energizing to me, that it almost felt like I was “on stage”. Which got me even more social than usual.

So here I was, in a Chinese-owned grocery store around midnight, getting some wraps (nope, my food choices are not very elaborate at this time of the night). I was listening to the owner talk to her son, and I recognized a few words in Mandarin. So I headed to the counter with my two or three items, waited for the woman to sum it all up, and said — “Ni hao, keyi pianyi iqian ma?” Which basically means — “Hello, can you lower the price a bit?” Well, I know. That’s not a super elaborate sentence. But I had only had a few podcast lessons and that’s what I learned, so.

What happened next, although it may seem like nothing special, was a little miracle to me. All of a sudden, a huge bright smile appeared on the woman’s face, reaching up to her eyes. She laughed and started talking a whole lot in Chinese. “Duibuqi, wo zhongwen shuo-ta bu hao” — my Mandarin was definitely not good enough to start a proper conversation back then. “Si, si! You speak very very well!” She gave me a gentle tap on the shoulder. She seemed so happy. I had been coming for days but had never seen her like that.

That’s when I realised it. Before learning Mandarin, I was not as open-minded as I thought I was. Neither was she, before she knew I was trying to learn her language. We were living our lives with a clean, transparent glass wall separating us. We would only exchange the required minimum we had to. Because we were not fully acknowledging each other as true counterparts.

You could argue that this does not only happen with foreigners. That we all do this in cities. I get your point. But with people of a culture more similar to yours, there is a possibility that we may connect. A smile, a word could change the whole situation. Because you know that if you want you can reach out to them quite easily. However, with a totally different culture, it requires effort. And we all tend to be somewhat lazy.

Do you know what I call miracle? The fact that, when I start learning a language, I instantly become genuinely interested: what’s the culture, the history, and what are the people of this country or region like? And because of my interest, coupled with my effort to communicate in their language, they stop being lazy, too. They do everything they can to try and communicate, and encourage me. And that’s when a whole new world opens in front of me. The more different the culture you are approaching, the higher you will rise.