Load-Bearing Relationships with Students

Have you ever observed young children build with Lego-type blocks and wondered how they decide to make their structures?

At the beginning of every new school year, one of my favorite activities is to give small groups of students a pile of these multi-colored, well-loved, and treasured toys.

They sit excitedly in anticipation awaiting instructions to accomplish the task before them. I mill around and watch their innocent faces as I give the green light to begin building with ten minutes on the timer.

Facial expressions and body language show confusion and uncertainty as they look around questioningly at their peers.

You see, I gave them no direction. No guidelines. Just build.

This simple experiment in the classroom gives a great indication of where I can start as a leader to facilitate the building of relationships in our learning environment.

I observe quietly. They ask questions. I defer answering with a smile and a sly wink.

Carefully eyeing their structures, I am also listening to the discussion within each group. A few students agree they will attempt to build the tallest tower possible, brick by brick, not giving attention to the foundation. They have built a lofty skyscraper that reaches above their heads.

It quickly topples. They quickly gather the scattered bricks and begin again with giggles.

Other students are taking time to have a conversation to make deliberate plans to create a supportive, load-bearing framework. They meticulously design and erect a strong tower.

It stands secure. They stand back and admire their handiwork as they cheer and give fist-bumps around the room.

The ten-minute session has ended and the real lesson commences.

We gather together as a class family and talk about this object lesson. I gently guide them into a collaborative dialogue about the process of building with the bricks.

We conference about what worked well, what could have been improved, and what they learned from HOW and WHY they chose the various methods of construction.

One of the main elements for success always circles back to the importance of communication. Students shared that it was more difficult to make a plan if they did not talk to one another. A few expressed that even if they did not agree on the process, they still worked together with flexibility.

The general consensus among everyone was the simple fact that if they built a solid foundation, they were able to negotiate and work collectively to complete the task.

We all agreed that this parallels with building relationships. Kindness, honesty, communication, compassion, empathy, and patience are vital in the construction of trusting relationships. A foundation of sorts.

As a teacher, there is incredible beauty in this lesson.

This is my megaphone moment.

I have their full attention. They have just learned that in order for us to build cohesive relationships, there must be a strong and supportive base as the foundation. A base that won’t topple over with the slightest touch. A base that will stand firm through disagreements, differences, and discord.

This sets the tone for our year together as a little family. Relationships are foundational, not optional. We solidify our commitment to this with positive attitudes of affirmation.

We pledge to help one another and always lend a hand of support.

We pledge to dedicate our mindset to growing in understanding and being mindful of others’ needs.

We pledge to show selflessness and willingness to forgive with caring hearts.

All the necessary building blocks to assemble that firm, load-bearing foundation that can withstand the weight of risks, disappointments, and mistakes.

Summer is not even over and my enthusiasm wells up and I am ready. Ready to make an impact on a new group of listeners and learners with joy as I envision the creation of the steadfast relationships to come.