Reflecting on Self-Love
I focus on daily gratitude, but self-love?
Today, I participated in another SBTS (School-Based Technology Specialist) Podcast Club meeting. To prepare for this meeting, we listened to an episode of 10% Happier with Dan Harris where Karamo was interviewed about self-love. At first, I was skeptical of what takeaways I would have from this episode. I focus on daily gratitude, but self-love? I wasn’t so sure…
As I shared in my last blog post, I grew up in an environment where deficit thinking was the norm and paranoia was rampant. This led me to always try to fix things, never satisfied with the way they were. Listening to a recent podcast episode on Good News, Brad News, Brad was interviewing Jillian DuBois. In her interview, Jillian shared how she had selected the word, CONTENT, for 2021. She wants to live her life “content” with who she is, while growing. This really resonated with me after listening to Karamo. Was I “content” with who I currently am? If not, how could I reach that feeling? Wasn’t that “content” feeling a form of self-love?
As I listened to this interview, I made several connections to what Karamo shared.
1. Fall in Love with Who You Are Right Now
Last week, I needed to make an author video for Road to Awesome LLC’s web page. As I went to do so, I instantly felt critical of myself. I recorded the video, but found it was really hard to watch myself. It was far easier to be critical. In late 2020, I gained quite a bit of weight (my COVID 15+) and I have to admit I haven’t been happy with the way I look right now.
In the podcast, Karamo shares that you need to fall in love with the body you have now. He did this by saying one positive thing about himself each day and adding to it. In the past 27 days, I have been working hard to be healthier, but never thought about this. If every time I look in the mirror I see a negative, then I am starting each day with a deficit mindset. This made me think- could I do this? Could I show myself more compassion?
2. Keep Compassion Up and Ego Down
Karamo also shared that the goal isn’t to bring the compassion up in an attempt to raise your ego. You are doing so to better accept yourself. This isn’t about raising your ego to shout out how great you are. It’s about being more compassionate and kinder to yourself. This tied in with what Jillian had shared in her journey for “content”ment. Was I sharing the messages with myself that I would share with a friend or a family member? Was I kind to myself?
In late 2020 after having COVID, I really struggled with this. I had gained a lot of weight, struggled with physical activity and had stopped journaling- I was too tired. Every morning, I woke up disappointed with myself. I hated the way my clothes fit, how I looked in the laptop camera window. I felt depleted and uninspired. The messages I said to myself were the farthest from kind. Right before Winter Break, I saw a number on the scale that I had never seen before- I cried and beat myself up for a day.
I woke up the next morning and decided I needed to treat myself better. I had tools in my toolbox that I could use to treat myself kinder. I decided to use the successes I had achieved in 2020 to reframe my thinking. Now, over a month later, I am kinder to myself, no matter what the scale says at one moment in time. I am proud of who I am now and what I have achieved while still growing as a person every day.
3. A council culture vs. a cancel culture
He also shared the idea of a council culture vs. a cancel culture. This reminded me of a Facebook post I read by Lindsay Titus the week before. In this post, she talked about focusing on growth instead of gaps. Can we build each other up instead of tearing each other down? Are we working together to help each other reach goals or using a comparison as a way to tear each other down?
In her post, she shares two ways of looking at things, “Is it on the skills I don’t have or the fact that I haven’t achieved it yet? (aka the GAP) OR Is it on the growth I’ve made so far, and the continued growth I will make to achieve the desire as my reality (aka GROWTH)?” I love this way of looking at things and it mirrors a growth mindset. She continues, “Everything YOU create stems from the ENERGY that YOU hold. When our energy is focused on what we haven’t done, or the gap, our goals seem out of reach. When our energy is focused on our growth, and who we can be to achieve that goal, the process of GROWTH becomes our reality. Living a life of ABUNDANCE is living a life of EXPANSION and GROWTH.”
This really resonated with me as well. It is one of the reasons that I love being a connected educator. EduTwitter is truly a council culture, where educators uplift each other. I would never have written my book, being published in Spring 2021, or even written a blog if I hadn’t been exposed to this council culture. Before this, I lived in a cancel culture and this mindset has completely changed my life!
4. Service to others is service to ourselves
The last takeaway I got from listening to this podcast was the idea of service to others is service to overselves. Karamo describes how when we give our best to others, not only does it uplift them, but it also fills our cups. He called it “emotional contagion.” I think about this a lot when I blog- last week, I posted a blog post and a member of my PLN, fellow Teach Better Ambassador, Mark Horner posted this, “Love reading this journey with you! Keep up the excellent work. Never underestimate the impact your vulnerability is having on others!! I am inspired!!” This warmed my heart and uplifted me in ways I can’t explain. When you blog, you put your voice out there and want to inspire others, when you do, it boomerangs back to you too.
As I reflected, I came to the realization of the impact that self love has had on my journey. It has led me to take more risks, unlock my unlimited potential, challenge myself and ultimately transform my mindset, which has transformed my life in the past few years.
