Relationships are the Foundation on which All Learning is Built.

As my summer ends and I am back in the building, the focus of the new school year starts to emerge. We meet and discuss and plan on the typical “school” stuff, making sure everything is scheduled, in place, covered, planned for, etc. All that is important, don’t get me wrong. But now is also the time when we need to start thinking about laying the foundation for learning for the new year. That HAS to start with relationships.

We HAVE to believe all students CAN and WANT to learn

I really cannot say it any other way than with the graphic below. If the adults in the building don’t believe in them, students and their learning do not stand a chance. This is the very bedrock of learning equity, that no matter the background/ home life/situation every student we have can learn at a high level. Again, this is completely on us. Once we believe, then we can make the intentional and purposefully impact-filled decisions about learning that can make it a reality in the classroom for “these” kids and all others.

We have to LOVE our students more than our subjects

Here is something I will make no apologies for ever: If you don’t love kids, don’t be a teacher. Love is a choice, sometimes it’s an hour-by-hour choice, to look at others (with everything they are good, bad and possibly annoying) and say with our actions that they matter more than whatever it might cost me. I love my biological kids. Do they disappoint me? Sure. Are they hard to like at times? Absolutely. Can they drive me a little bit insane? Yep. But they KNOW they are loved down to their core through my actions towards them and choices for them. That also includes the times when I need to speak things “in love” that they might not want to hear. It is not different for our academic children than it is for our genetic ones. We have to love them through our speech, actions and attitudes. They have to see it and believe it in all that we say and do with them.

We have to form POSITIVE relationships with students

Looking back up at the first graphic, positive relationships are the foundation of everything else. You can’t have the others on top without the one below. The truth is this: School is the only place some of our kids will ever hear anything positive out of an adult’s mouth about them. Even more sobering, school is the only place some will come and not be yelled at, cussed at, berated, and abused. It costs us NOTHING at school to be kind and positive towards our kids. Instead of barking at them to take off a hoodie in the hallway, how about saying how happy you are they are at school today? Instead of a canned “Good Morning” how about “I’m so excited to see you, Johnny!” The best time to major in the minors is times like these, when minor changes to your interactions with kids can have a major impact.

Here’s the gospel truth: WE WANT AND NEED STUDENTS ON OUR TEAM. That comes from believing in them, loving them and building those positive relationships. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes that is hard. Sometimes we have to love our students through those times when we don’t like them so much. But, if you make intentional choices daily (sometimes minute-by-minute) first in your thoughts about your kids because our thoughts shape our feelings. Take those thought-shaped feelings and put them into purposeful actions, all of which need to center on the fact that these kids will learn best in a place where they are loved and respected as they come. Does that mean they have free reign when it comes to behaviors? Absolutely not. When they come to us not knowing how to multiply 2 digit numbers, we teach them. When they come not knowing how to write a cohesive essay, we teach them. When they come to us not knowing the acceptable way to speak and interact with others in class, we ________. We have to teach them in love with positive relationships. You might be surprised what you get.