The WHY + HOW of That ONE Student
Have no doubt, there will be at least one “Taylor” that comes into your life.
There is a great discussion right now among educators and leaders through various platforms regarding the strategic importance to build trusting relationships in order to help our students feel safe and secure as we return to class this fall.
I’ve conveyed my own opinion on this in other posts. For me, relationships are FOUNDATIONAL (not optional) to our practice. They are our KEY to influence students to unlock their confidence and holistic sense of self-worth.
The stakes are tremendous when it comes to this reality.
As teachers, there are those distinctive students that come into our lives each school year. Of course, all of our students are special, but you know what I mean here. The intention is not about showing partiality or unfair discrimination. It’s about kindred connection.
There are a select few that when they enter into our classroom, there is a sense that there will be instant rapport and respect. Our instincts are usually spot-on for this magnificent phenomenon.
Some of those relationships — well, we enjoy a wonderful year together and then move on with sweet memories.
Then there are the Taylor’s that change your life.
Significantly.
I was a first-year teacher with some hefty fears. I stood at the door and greeted my students with a nervous smile and an exhilarated heart. Taylor shyly walked in with a smile that instantly lit up my dim 3rd-grade classroom.
Taylor was reserved and often uncertain of her efforts, even though she excelled in academics, sports and was a peer mentor. I could sense she needed the chance to bloom.
Yes, she was an easy one to love.
She fended for nurtured ALL of her classmates. She drew near to those who were different and often left out. Her compassion for everyone and everything was unorthodox for someone at such a young age.
Engaging with Taylor was always fascinating. She loved challenges. We continued to cultivate a student/teacher partnership that evolved with great empathy and understanding.
As weeks and months passed, I could see her become more purposely determined. She was fearless.
I began to realize that she was teaching and modeling this growth to ME.
Reciprocity at its finest.
I had the opportunity at the end of that year to loop up to 4th-grade. We continued to build on our foundation of trust with even more joyful effort.
Taylor had an affinity for art and drawing. A commonality between us. She would draw me beautiful cards and give me framed, hand-painted pictures with the most loving messages. I would slip thank-you notes back to her. She knew I loved her and, she loved me right back.
I’ve kept them all as treasures. I still hang up an ornament that she painted, and I text a picture when it is lovingly placed on my Christmas tree each year. We still laugh about it.
Taylor was a gifted musician. She played her guitar and serenaded me on birthdays with private concerts after school. I vividly remember those events.
We celebrated when Taylor moved up to 5th-grade. We laughed, we cried. We KNEW our relationship was going to remain a lifelong investment.
It still is. She’s in college now. All grown up. I’m so proud of her.
We’ve not often conversed in person, but she has volunteered in my classroom, emailed, and texted frequently ever the past several years.
Today I am celebrating an anniversary. One year ago today, she delivered these to my porch.
Handpainted and designed by Taylor.
With love. So much love and joy.
I remember posting this on my social media. I was so taken aback by her incredible selflessness and generosity.
This was Taylor’s response…”I love you so much and I’m so glad that fate made you my teacher all those years ago. Wouldn’t be the same person I am today without your guidance.”
This heart connection thing with our students? It’s real.
The relationships that we cultivate in and out of the classroom? It’s real.
The JOY we share? Mhmm. It’s real.
On the back of the shoes, she simply wrote, “impart joy”.
Taylor gets it and has learned to impart that JOY.
The reality is that EVERYONE IS SOMEONE.
That shy, nervous, apprehensive student could be your biggest blessing.
I’ll say it again. EVERYONE IS SOMEONE. We just need to notice.
Relationships with our students are not always Taylor stories. That’s not the point here.
My purpose is to share that there are students out there that need our TIME, PRESENCE, and ADVOCACY to build their courageous voice in this world.
Stephen Covey (www.stephencovey.com) says, “Find your voice and inspire others to find theirs. Don’t ignore that longing to make a difference.”
What will your narrative with your students look like next year? It may be a Taylor story or an uncomfortably messy and difficult student story.
Whatever the case, it is up to us to make student relationships our priority.
WE can make a difference. LOVE them ALL. With reverence, respect, equality, and inclusion.
Why make such a big deal out of this? Because it is life-changing.
EVERYONE is SOMEONE and we need to invest well.
One day you will have a great story to tell.
