2.28 Interview — Ahmed

Ahmed is a PhD student in the US whose parents live in Pakistan. He loves cooking. We talked to him about being touch with his parents, and about food. Here are some things that came up:

Call my parents every sunday/saturday morning

Time difference 11 here is 9 at night in pakistan

Don’t need to worry no teach or work

Mom use Facebook msngr

Call using Facebook not phone, used to use fiber to whatsapp to Facebook, easy for mom to use

Are u fine, do u have lots of work , hows sister, do u need anything from home

Need help or advice, bank account shut down/need for money

When went home, 1st week always weird, jet lag, start reaching out give people call, sleep and eat at home

I don’t cook, only cook in pittsburgh, mom spoils me at home, lately mom begin to cook, ask what he wants to eat

Do go out with friends, eat or tea

When cook here, usually on weekends, week days easy and quick to prepare, within 30min max

Chicken fillets, wrap with aluminum and microwave, buy instant rice and microwave, add chopped vege

5 week days 2 times cook at home, rarely cook properly for himself, not good at cook individual portions, can’t adjust, always prepare in bulk

When entertaining, guest or friends, then cook properly, cook stuff that is not throw things together, take time make dishes not normally at home, anything that requires more than 30 mins, he can cook very well only when entertain

He is social person, he doesn’t take care for himself, 1)price factor matters, need to buy ingredients in bulks , don’t do that unless bulk for friends, only buy in bulk when needs to, else food go bad quickly, no reason to do that, and also 2)he is spoiled he doesn’t eat leftover, only fresh, doesn’t freeze food, 3)cooking is social thing, only enjoy cooking when cooking for others, cooking is his way to be social, like feeding people, when guest over, make sure they are well fed

Cook to experiment, try to do sth different, if 1st time then friends will be forgiving,

Start cooking when first came to U.S., forced to, when no time, no time to entertain, when in U.S. has more free time, roommate in first year is also from pakistan, both miss food from home, roommate doesn’t know how to cook, everyday same pasta and cheese, sick of it, so he can’t spend two years eating shitty food, so started cooking, used to rely on expensive premade bottles, start calling his mom

Ask her (mother) what masala do you use to cook this and that dish, slowly to cook on himself, roommate does dishes,

She tells me you need to get this this this ingredients, he never stick to her recipe, way of cooking is different from his mom, mom seeing him cook, her observation is that she taks more time to cook than him, he multitask, mom does not, he spend more time on preparation, when first dish stewing, start preparing 2nd dish, cooking many dish at the same time, mom cooks one thing at a time, more careful/meticuous.

Either call on weekend to ask for instruction ahead during calling routine and he remember it, or he call when he is cooking,

She text instructions on Facebook too

Doesnt everyone want to replicate taste at home, i tasted her dish can rely on her taste, prefer know through person, i rather learn from mark choi than search online to learn how to make bulgogi

Part of it is the sociality of it, ask someone means you trust them and you trust their sense of food, social interaction, food is social and is important only if it is the means of being social, so he only learn to cook from others, not rely on technology

She is happy that he is cooking because 1) in again culture, at lest one some one knows her recipe, she is happy at least some one can do that 2) mom learns from grandmother, grandmother learned from her mom, 4 generations of family recipe, for mom is sense of pride to say that now he can cook and carry on family legacy, continuing unsulty? tradition, highly valued in family, pride to be hospitable people, ties into that for his mom

After making the dish, she ask him how did the party go, mom and him don’t discuss it in great detail, when go home big deal to sit down at dinner table, now sister at work or he is out , happen less often, but whenever possible sit together communal eating is a big deal.

He still prefer eating with other people, even not with his mom, he would eat with friends, don’t eat lunch is no time, hate quickly scarfing food and go to teach class, rather spend time to eat meal than alone and rush, i don’t like to eat alone

Think about the VALUE, not physical presence, what kind of values, removing sitting down together is weird for him, replace family with friends, so not a problem with him, because he values communal eating, so he want to eat together

Hospitality for him means cook for friends, for her means presenting nicely and beautifully,

My home smells warm, is not meticouly planned house, but he has his own way to make people feel like home,

Deepa and him like to make their own place as hub, feeling homey for friends, both like to entertain others, psychology plays into it

In the end start to invite people over, start to make friends, they never knew how authentic food really tastes,

I don’t cook for my selfs unless my roommate want to eat my dish, then he has american roommate, don’t cook for that roommate cause he doesn’t want to

Now he can cook chinese, korean, african peanut soup, threw soup party last year, haven’t tried baking