APPLE
My Imaginary WWDC 2025
A boy can dream
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Somber music is playing quietly as the curtain opens to reveal an empty stage. Tim Cook enters from stage left. He is not smiling and is walking slowly. He stops and sighs deeply, then clears his throat. His expression might make you think he had just tasted something foul. He clears his throat again and speaks.
“I am sure most of you are aware of the many troubles Apple has experienced this year. You may have heard that WWDC 25 will be a ‘gap year’, a year where nothing exciting will happen.”
Tim looks down at his feet. As he raises his head, a smile is spreading across his face. He raises his hands and his voice as he loudly speaks again.
“Well, hold on to your hats!”
Suddenly there is a whirlwind of product announcements and upgrades, new features, people talking almost too fast to hear, talking over each other, all swirling around Tim. He reaches at them as they spin by, but there are so many and they spin so quickly that he begins to laugh.
“No gaps here!”, he exclaims as the whirlwind spins down. The detailed look at Apple’s plans for the coming year begins.
Yeah, that’s not likely to happen, is it?
Update: I expected to be bored, but actually there’s a lot of good stuff coming. I had ChatGPT quickly prepare this chart, which may be incomplete, but I will update it in a future article.
