How to tell if you are a micro manager and what to do if you are
You might be a micro manager if you:
- Believe that you can do your direct reports job better than they can
- Believe that you need to handle critical things yourself
- Often feel your temper rising. You believe that your workers can’t be trusted
- Believe that you still need to perform individual contributor work even though you manage more than six to eight direct reports
- Believe that you need to be present personally at all important meetings
- Never feel like your team is doing well even though you keep working harder and harder
- Give very detailed directions whenever you delegate work
- No one on your team seems to step up and take initiative. You have to do everything all the time
Getting team members to step up and take initiative
If you trespass in your reports area by doing individual contributor work or taking over some of their duties then they will feel suffocated and will fail to take initiative on their own. Stay out of their way and allow them to fail if necessary to avoid enabling their dysfunction or ‘laziness’. Allow them to fully feel the consequences of their own performance
Anxiety
At the heart of micro management lives untreated anxiety. Good Management involves making peace with uncertainty and good managers understand that while they can have a significant influence on their team they are powerless over outcomes.
For example in the case of a high profile project that needs to be delivered there is a list of things you can control:
- Reading all the requirements and meeting with stakeholders to understand the deliverable
- Communicating the requirements clearly to your team
- Providing resources to your team
- Providing coaching and other support to your team
- Communicating to the team how important the project is to the company and to you
- Establishing practices that allow you to hire competent people
- Trusting your workers
Despite all that you can do, you cannot control that the work will meet the requirements, be of high quality and delivered on time. Still, if you can greatly increase the likelihood of a wonderful outcome by taking care of the things that are within your control
Work on what you can control and don’t waste time worrying about what you can’t control.
Recognizing your lack of control might be hard and this may give you anxiety. Pay attention to your body and become aware of feelings or anger and stress. Make a note of what triggers them and understand the fears behind these feelings
Breathing exercises and meditation
Though I totally buy into the benefits of meditation, it is really hard for me to meditate. I try but I have to admit it usually doesn’t go great for me. There are many meditation apps and guided meditations available on YouTube. Personally, I enjoy podcasts and meditations from Tara Brach. If it works for you try meditating daily.
Personally for me breathing exercises work better. When I feel my heart beat elevating and my breathing becoming shallow I start noticing my breathing and counting each breath to a count of four and starting over again. This usually helps my body relax and my breathing normalize
Open yourself up to support
If your boss is unavailable for support then look for mentors both inside and outside your organization. Big companies usually have a mentorship program. I had two mentors when I was working for a large organization and this really helped to broaden my point of view and improved by big picture thinking. As a manager and a leader move towards the bigger picture and away from the weeds.
If you have stresses outside of work then find a suitable support group or therapist. Take time for exercise, eating well and self care. If you find yourself obsessing about how someone else is not doing exactly what you want gently redirect your thoughts back to yourself. Be kind and loving towards yourself in your thoughts and actions.
Finding peace through spirituality
Employees pick up on a Managers emotional energy. To be a good manager I need to be at peace on the inside even when challenging situations happen.
I am not religious but I am spiritual and I believe that the Universe is much more powerful than me and that it will take care of the things I can’t control for me as long as I do my part. Even if the outcome turns out to not be what I wanted, I can be at peace. For example, suppose the situation is that a prized employee quit to move across the country and this appears to be a huge loss. I believe that all is not revealed in the moment and as time goes by I will learn how this was for the best for me and for the employee even if I don’t understand how that is today.
Practice gratitude. In challenging times remind yourself of all the good things and people in your life. We do not get to choose what life puts in our path but we do have choices on how we react and what we choose to believe.
