Bo Ren on breaking into product management, traversing the corporate ladder as a URM woman, and showing up as your authentic self at work

Bo is currently director of product at Bravely. At Tumblr she redesigned the core creative tools, and at Facebook she launched Facebook Notes and Instagram monetization tools. She writes and speaks about product management, liberal arts thinking, and diversity and inclusion.

In January, Tech Ladies hosted an #AskMeAnything with Bo to discuss:

• cracking into product management from a non-technical background;
• building diverse and inclusive teams;
• traversing the corporate ladder as a URM woman;
• finding sponsors at work;
• and showing up as your authentic self.

Below are some of our favorite Q&As. Head over to the community for the full #AskMeAnything (you’ll have to join the group if you’re not currently a member).

Q: Hi Bo, I saw your tweets about deciding to work less on being ‘likeable’ as a leader. Any tips for folks who may not be in leadership roles but are already feeling tired of the fakeness?

Bo: This question gives me life! 💖 Likability has been a life long struggle of mine as a people pleaser and social chameleon. I know I’m not alone in this. As women we are conditioned by society to be agreeable, maternal, and “nice.”

I think you need to ask yourself does being “nice” or “likable” no longer serve you? Are you masking your authentic self b/c you’re afraid of speaking truth to power? Are you making yourself smaller so a coworker doesn’t feel threatened by you? Certain work environments breed this “Stepford Housewife” culture and it can really be toxic where you pretend like you’re happy all the time. I’ve literally cried in bathroom stalls working at Facebook and that was supposed to my dream job! I can give you a tour of my crying corners in MPK20.

You really need to tap into your core and realize that if being your authentic self means you are not respected or valued then it’s time to reassess the work situation. Is it still working for you? However, luckily, I’ve found that the times I’ve mustered up the courage to speak my mind, push back, and challenge people I actually do win respect and shift power dynamics to something more equitable. It’s time for the fully-voiced woman, and she has zero fucks to give when it comes to being likeable. At the end of the day, I believe that you can be likeable and effective — just don’t make likeability the end all be all.

I also recommend reading the book The Myth of the Nice Girl.

Q: How would you advise navigating a team as the sole URM (biracial, queer, woman) where the rest of the team is cis white hetero males making jokes about “dropping balls” on the daily. There is no overt bias, but I just don’t fit in and feel like I’m not taken seriously. Unfortunately much of my industry is run by people like this.

Bo: I’ve definitely been there as the only woman on a founding team and it is ROUGH. So much emotional labor of educating your cis white male coworkers on something not being okay or how Soylent isn’t a balanced diet. I got my nickname “Brosef” because the guys considered me a bro on our CX team at Sunrun.

I think so much of your job is creating a safe space for yourself and educating people on what safety looks like for you psychologically and mentally so you can thrive in your workplace. The cognitive load of having to call out every sexist joke or insensitive comment can be wearing. Instead, I would think about doing it when it really matters, like at meetings or when you have a sponsor to back you up. Do you have a male coworker who can be a sponsor and help back you up during meetings?

The sense of otherness you feel is real and I think you should let your co-workers know that. I’ve joked with male colleagues that if they keep talking about gaming or sports I’m gonna have to leave the room. I’ve found that discourse causes friction, but fiction yields progress. Just know that you’re laying the cultural ground work for the next URM, queer, non-cis white coworker who joins the team.

Q: I’d love to hear about cracking into your PM role from a non-technical background.

Bo: Funny you asked. I actually wrote about it on Medium.

Q: Could you talk about how you incorporate behavioral science into your product development cycle?

Bo: I try to incorporate behavioral change concepts to the products I build. I talked about it in my Habit Summit Conference. I think the role of a PM has also shifted to a behavioral PM too, written by Kit from FirstMark.

We need more behavioral driven products built by humane PMs! 🤗

Thanks to Bo for her time and wisdom! If you have an inspiring woman or non-binary person to nominate for an #AskMeAnything in Tech Ladies, shoot me an email: hannah[at]hiretechladies.com.

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