You may have your own ambitions, goals and thirst to do something in life. But more often than not, there are always people around you who always tend to be a blockade to your ambitions and goal. Most often, they are people close to you like your parents, relatives or sometimes even friends. I am going to explain how to handle such people, situations in a way that you don’t damage your relationship and at the same time, do what you want to do.
Evaluate the impact of your decisions beforehand
Life is full of decisions. There are lot of ways you can lead it and sometimes, you might want to go in a road not taken which may be one of the reasons why people are too concerned for you and might end up eating your head.
In such cases, try to evaluate all the ways you can do something and evaluate the cost associated with it and make sure you have some backup if things don’t work out the way you want to. Life is full of risks, You can’t achieve anything you want if you are too afraid to take risks.
Talk as if the other person is always right
Most often, you get into situations where people are advising you. Sometimes, it can be helpful but most of the times, it can be just a waste of your time and may even take a piece of your mind away from you.
In such cases, arguing is the worst thing to do since you are just extending the argument. What the other person might want is just a yes for everything he/she says. If you know deep in your mind that what you are doing is right, then just say yes and do what you want to do. That way, you are saving your time, satisfying his/her ego and still getting to do what you want to do.
Break down your goals
If you go and say that, I want to be the biggest music composer in the world, many people would say no. But, if you take baby steps, they might actually say yes.
For instance, you can first ask for an instrument of your interest like a keyboard, then at a later point of time, ask them to get you to a keyboard coaching class in your free time, then you can play some music for them to showcase how good you are, and then slowly you can prove yourself worthy by publishing your own albums, participate in competitions, get a concert arranged and finally realize your goal of becoming a great music composer. This way, you are jumping through shorter blockades rather than bigger ones.
Prove it before you say it
People trust more on the outcome rather than words. So, rather than saying that I am going to do this or do that, just do it! Once you have done, show them what you have done and make them understand what you are capable of rather than giving empty talks.
If you prove that you can do something, then people would definitely be supportive.
This is very important when you want to convince someone. The first thing you need to do is understand his/her character. You need to know how to approach the problem for the person you are talking to. The same way of argument wont be applicable for everyone. You need to understand what the person likes, what he/she dislikes and make sure that your talk to them in a way that is more understandable and comprehend-able to them.
Before you even talk to others, you need to fix yourself. You need to understand that,
- You have only one life and you got to do what you want to do
- Its you who is in control of your life and you are the only one to be blamed
- Success never comes without failures, and if it does, it is just luck
- There are 2 sides to a coin and you have to choose which side you want
- A war is not always won by fight. It can be won also by diplomacy and wit
Its not long ago that Apple Co-Founder Steve Wozniak commented about Indian creativity. While people may lament about his statement, it is true to a great extent and that is mostly because of the society we live in is not so adaptable to change. We, at India have a conservative society with a crazy education system along with corrupted government officials and politicians.
So, whats the way to deal with such scenarios? The only answer I would give is just act as if you are playing along but do what you got to do when you want to do it.
And why I am I saying this? That is cause, if you try to change a person who is not adaptable to change, they will in turn try to change you and align your thoughts to theirs. And, that can be pretty dangerous.
So, what made me write this blog?
I have had several instances of such discussions with people around me. Some things irritated me that I ended up having long arguments which ultimately went in vain.
Getting girls married too early before they are ready, standing on the way of your passion be it sports or anything which does not have anything to do with traditional studies, always worrying about what others would think of something rather than worrying about what they think about it, trying to play along with the society always in a way that you don’t give any opportunity for risks, bringing down the morale of thinkers instead of supporting them.
I can keep listing but this is what gives rise to a conservative society and it is often difficult and worthless to change such societies. Rather, its best to do what you want to do and hope that the society changes for good at some point of time.