Race, Reflection & Rejuvenation
How A Mediterranean Cruise Changed My Worldview
So a few weeks ago I interviewed with a company for a Talent Manager Role.
I was really excited about the team, the founders and their product.
But their leadership didn’t feel I was a strong enough fit.
Which especially caught me by surprise since one of their team members personally reached out to me after reading my blog 😏.
So like most people, when I got the rejection email I was like…
OK. 🤔 🤔 🤔 ???
Then for about 48 hours after the news, I was REALLY DOWN.
The rejection was a huge blow to my ego.
It made me feel low. As if I wasn’t valued.
Despite my setback, I made a decision to not be a slave to this rejection.
That’s the context for today’s discussion…
How Do We Handle Rejection?
How Do We Respond When We Don’t Feel Welcomed?
How Do We Become More Grateful?
Whether you’re fresh off a job rejection or just need perspective on a recent “failure” in your life, this one’s for you.
After my rejection I went on a 7-day cruise through the Mediterranean.
Spain, Italy, and France to be precise 🌴.
I got to know the world better.
I got to know some amazing people.
And most importantly, I got to know myself better.
Not everyone can just take a cruise after a job rejection, but we can all thoughtfully decide how we respond to adversity. That’s what leaders do.
Here’s what my post-job rejection cruise taught me.
Let’s dive in 🏊
When Black Folks Get Too Loud
Everyone says they want to travel and see the world, but life typically gets so busy that we never get a chance to.
Save yourself the grief: Book A Damn Cruise! 🚢
My girlfriend and I had never been to Europe and had never done a cruise so we were beyond ecstatic to explore.
There were nightclubs, buffets, an entire gym and spa, water slides, and more restaurants than you can think of.
This was our ship 😎 😏
The entire experience was phenomenal, from the staff to the places we visited.
One thing that I didn’t expect though, was blatant discrimination by other white passengers on the cruise. You read that right.
Let’s be clear, this is NOT a blanket statement about the entire white race. But this was our experience.
Context: My girlfriend and I were one of the youngest and brownest couples there.
Further context: majority of the cruise was older (50+yrs) white couples.
It all started with a couple that complained our group was “too loud” at the buffet. When in actuality, we were just a group laughing and enjoying ourselves. WE’RE ON VACATION!!
Now I could understand if we were belligerently drunk and obnoxious, but we were merely a group black folks who got an octave too loud for the white folks next to us.
Then, this couple had the AUDACITY to come over and literally shush us.
Bruh. I wanted to pop off like…
However, we remained humble and decided to just leave.
But next, were the dirty looks. Yes. You read that right again.
Dirty looks with absolutely NO CHILL. As if to condescendingly say…
What are YOU doing here? Why are you wearing that?
Context Again: My girlfriend has curly hair, a beautiful smile and bountiful curves. So when she puts on a dress, naturally, she turns heads.
But there were legit old white women clutching their husbands when we entered elevators. Seriously?!?!
I can’t make this shit up.
The irony is that when we disembarked the ship the locals in Italy, France and Spain did not give us the same dirty looks. They actually had manners!
What was even more ironic is that my girlfriend got dirty looks during the day, but by nightfall, every white woman wanted her to teach them how to twerk once we showed up at the club.
Again, I can’t make this shit up.
My point with all this is that sometimes, especially if you’re black, society will try to shame you.
To make you feel as though… you’re not welcomed.
To make you feel unworthy.
To make you feel as if you’re invisible.
We must remind ourselves that just because we get can octave louder when we’re having fun doesn’t mean we’re unworthy of occupying spaces.
When You Find Good People
Through being loud and unapologetically black, I realized that I shouldn’t shame myself into quieting my voice. Despite the wishes of others.
Which is why this cruise also reaffirmed the value of surrounding ourselves with a dope ass squad.
If you haven’t, check out this post 👇 I did on why having a strong squad is paramount.
Since we felt like the only colored folk on the entire ship, we sought out other people of color.
We ended up befriending the dopest group of people.
Shout out Brittany, Ciera, Asia, Baby Taye & Daddy Taye, Baby Mars, Jarvis, and TJ. I LOVE YALL!!
SERIOUSLY. Some of the most incredible people ever.
We’re already planning another trip with them!
They were with us when the “y'all black folks too loud” incident occurred.
And ever since then, we stuck together. Having each other’s backs and engaging in dialogue around our cruise experience.
They humbled and grounded us. They reminded us that we weren’t being “too loud”. We were just living our best lives!
When you find good people, hold on to them.
Your squad is everything.
When You Stop Wishing For More
“As a man thinketh, so he is.” — James Allen
Now this trip taught me a lot about discrimination and value of being surrounded with phenomenal people.
But I also learned a lot about gratitude, letting go, and being present 🙏🏾.
There were days we just stayed on the boat.
There were even things we missed out on doing.
Like rock climbing, hitting up the arcade and exploring the water slide.
Now there’s two ways to look at this.
“The cruise was great, BUT…we missed out on X, Y, Z etc.”
“The cruise was great.”
PERIOD!
So often we diminish our accomplishments, our experiences, and our travels. Instead of simply being grateful to have experienced them.
This trip helped me be fully present and embrace every moment.
No email.
No calendars.
No alarms.
Just food, sun, good company….and jump rope 😎.
For the first time in a while, I got lost in THE PRESENT.
Lost in the street art.
Lost in the sights, sounds, and smells.
Tomorrow didn’t matter. Only THE NOW.
Imagine living like that everyday?
Well WE CAN.
Here’s how…
Everyday for the next two weeks, say 3 things you appreciated about your day.
This was a daily theme for us on the cruise. Being grateful for the day before.
Even if it was just a good meal you enjoyed, or chicken finger sunsets 👇 🐔!
Seriously.
The point is, get in the habit of appreciating everyday. Even the bullshit.
If you can’t appreciate the small things, you won’t appreciate the big things.
And no amount of success, money, etc. will ever be enough.
Appreciate the small things more.
And surround yourself with dope people that support and inspire you.
DASSITT!
Dance me out Gambino 💃.
