10 Ways to Piss Off a Designer
Can You Match This Exact Shade of Blue? — lol
So, you wanted to challenge the patience of a designer?
The creative wizards can be your client, your coworker, or just a person with a devil in his heart, and it can be very entertaining and sometimes risky to provoke them.
But beware!
Graphic designers are a special kind of people; they have an artistic vision, and their language consists of terms such as ‘kerning’ and ‘hex codes.’
Here are ten ways to push a graphic designer’s buttons, which is meant in the most light-hearted manner possible.
1. Free work?
To get them in the right mood, start off by asking them to work for free.
However, if they say no and they want to get paid, start haggling because you’ll have more work coming up in the future.
I mean, this is what we do in everyday life, right?
2. Give them a brief
Tell them you want your designs to look like Apple’s.
This is setting up the bait for trick number eight, so keep watching.
When you’re discussing the deadline, use words such as “as soon as possible” or “yesterday,” since you’re a funny guy.
After all, your past experiences have taught you it can be done in two minutes anyway.
3. Send them attachments
Number three, before they can start working, you must send them some attachments.
Send your images and logo using Microsoft Office programs — the older version, the better the impact.
Hey, you do get some bonus points if you forget the attachments every once in a while.
4. Get involved in the process
You might want to get involved in the creative process and take pictures or videos with your phone.
When you do this, there are three important things to keep in mind: first, the fewer pixels, the better. Secondly, have it slightly off-framing.
And lastly, don’t you dare worry about the sound quality — phones these days can handle it.
5. Ask about logo
Ask them to make your logo a tiny bit bigger.
You do want people to know who you are, don’t you?
Just make sure to download the logo from your website as it looks perfect there.
Just embed it in a Word document, and they’ll do their magic in Photoshop.
6. Be vague when providing feedback
Say things like “make it pop” or “it lacks the wow effect,” and then let them come up with alternatives.
You’ll know it when you see it.
It might be a good idea to give them a quick call to tell them you’re about to send an email.
Team effort always does the trick.
We all know that, so get as many opinions as you can.
Don’t be afraid to involve your seven-year-old niece — you do want to target the younger generation as well.
7. Say “I Could Do This Myself, But…”
Nothing is more infuriating than someone undermining a designer’s expertise by implying that the work is so simple anyone could do it.
Starting a sentence with “I could do this myself, but…” is a surefire way to make a designer question their life choices.
If you could do it yourself, you wouldn’t need a designer, would you?
8. Ask about whitespace
Remember you briefed for an Apple design? Well, graphic designers tend to love this thing called whitespace.
What a waste of space!
Ask them to fill it up, preferably with details and technical information.
I mean, you’re not paying for emptiness, are you?
They get so lazy.
9. Ask to play with design
Do you realize how fast a design can become boring? Don’t let this happen to your work.
Make sure to use as many fonts as you can.
Bonus points if you get the legendary Comic Sans in there.
By now, you’ve probably reached a point where they no longer care — the perfect time to add the colors and gradients you’ve always dreamed of.
Nobody likes black anyway.
10. Play around with different versions
Since you’re aiming for a full mental breakdown, tell them in the final feedback round that you’re slightly disappointed in the level of creativity and ask for something different.
You’re setting a pretty grand finale here.
As soon as you get the alternative design, finish them off by saying you prefer the first version.
How do you piss off your designer friends? Let me know in the comments.
