I’m not going to say I have a lot of friends, but I will say that I have many people who I converse with on a daily basis. Some of these people I don’t consider friends because we don’t have a specific bond that makes me in any type of way attached to the person. This is not a bad thing, I just think it’s important to remember the meaning of what a friend really is and that it maybe isn’t always a great idea to give a person these titles.
In this post, I want to express that it is okay to have differences within your friendships. To elaborate a little more, you and your friends don’t have to be the exact same to work. My friends and I are not even close to being the same person, we love many of the same things but our differences are one of the main factors in producing our healthy relationship.
This is one thing I feel is over conceptualized because I truly think the more you’re alike to someone, the worse the relationship is. Truthfully I have 0 proof of this, it’s more of a personal observation but you’re more than welcome to take this information as you please.
To continue, I wanted to make an open observation of what type of differences are okay in a friendship and some other things that you should not tolerate.
My one BIG thing is that your feelings are valid, no one should ever invalidate your feelings (the same goes for your actions towards others).
Most of my audience is my age, and this is directed towards them when I say, throughout our lives, we have been taught to practice the saying; “put yourself in their shoes”, what I’m saying now shouldn’t be a surprise to you. If you genuinely care about your friend, their feelings should not be in question. You may have disagreements on things and that’s alright but degrading someone based on their views isn’t something that is appealing to your friendship.
There are the odd cases when your friend may say something completely out of pocket, and yes it is always okay to confront them about it, but your tone, the words you’re saying, and all other factors in the conversation do matter.
I believe that if a person is truly your friend, you shouldn’t have to constantly argue about small things, especially because you care about each other.
To kind of end on a high note, learn to embrace your friend’s differences and use those differences as a way to grow your relationship together. I promise you it makes everything 10x more fun, 99% of the things that I love doing today wouldn’t have even crossed my mind if it wasn’t for all the amazing people I have in my life.
My best advice to you is; don’t let anyone denounce your feelings just because they do not feel the same way, don’t censor parts of your life to tend to other people’s needs, you are valid.
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