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How Decision-Making Can Be Driven By Fear?

Because fear is the most native archaic emotion!

Once again I ducked away. My children were annoyed. No! Not alone annoyed, but they felt backstabbed! Betrayed! Abandoned!

I didn’t do that on intention. But yeah, I smashed their trust to fragments.

My fears most of the time override my rationale and dissuade me to take conclusive action. This makes me a traitor in the eyes of my people. It’s mostly because I am afraid of repeating past patterns. Also because I think, I am an average human who isn’t quite entitled to significant life-changes.

But this was a life-changing decision. Last moment I gave away the idea, believing that every time my decisions are aborted because of lack of decision-making gene. So, I weighed risk-benefits and jettisoned the idea, as once again my fears dictated my rationale. I played safely at the cost of maternal dignity.

My fears are akin a swollen balloon that is unmindful of its own void and yet flies high, assuming arrogant airs.

According to American psychologist Paul Ekman, Fear is the most primitive, one out of six basic human emotions. Happiness, sadness, disgust, anger, and surprise are the universally experienced emotions since and before the cognitive revolution of the human race.

Like the primary colors-Red, Yellow, and Blue-that combines to make a wide array of other secondary colors, these 6 basic human emotions amalgamate to create secondary and mostly layered, complex emotions.

And due to this mix of emotions, often there are volcanic eruptions of unidentified and incomprehensible human behavior, tagged as conflicting human behaviors.

Fear is raw and powerful and biochemical and emotional. Ah! This tells us the colossal degree of power it can exercise over human rationale.

Usually, the human rationale is hardwired to search for the patterns to work. We find solace in interlacing two entirely different episodes with one common string. Even if that gives us the sense of acquaintance with dodging bullets. We happily associate with repetitive chain of events. Probably that’s due to misguided fear and misplaced confidence, we seek for known danger over unknown safety.

While as humans we are the products of our own experiences. Our environment shapes us and creates our belief system. However hard we try to curb our traumatic past, it gives us resonating emotions that diminish our fundamental sense of motivation. We connect strings between consecutive traumas to save from pain.

Many of us have gone through psychological, emotional, and physical trauma during growing years, which has the stronghold over our decision-making in later years. Because we start calculating the potential outcomes of our decision and fear venturing into the unknown. Hence our fear becomes that beacon of the lighthouse that draws us away from the sparkling moonbeams at the shore.

We dwell in an illusion that we are subtracting every element on the globe that has the ability to hurt us.

But that’s hindsight bias because we rationalize by calculating past miseries and stop the “would-be mistakes” at the threshold. In the process, we stop the opportunities and possibilities too.

While my adolescent years, I concluded mistakes as decisions and those limping shadows still follow me and influencemy rationale. It is a blitz on me by my logic, whenever I want to conclude a decision-however trivial or crucial.

I proudly said that I was bad at decisions.

I would step back.


Overlapping in the same toxic environment instead of slicing the fog of daze.

As it was easy for me to disown the courage of taking responsibility for the potential loss. While cozy confines of self-erected, high-walled dark mansion gave me reassurance of saving me from wrong decisions. But I failed to see that it barred me from that thrills of possible gain that came with a smallish shove on the butts of past fears. I never reckoned the fact that no matter to what extent you meticulously decide, life has a way of offering guaranteed mess to derail you!

Once we make a decision there are only possibilities, no wrong and right!



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