Most Inherently Good Folks Avoid Their Rage — Aka the “Righteous Anger”
They're not to be blamed, though.
They were so well trained to make use of quick fixes whenever they experience any hard feeling. They were taught their ‘negative’ feelings were not legitimate and needed to be instantly suppressed.
Their caregivers never told them that feelings were signals trying to send them messages. Moreover, those parents never modeled how to respect and honor one’s feelings, sit with them, embrace them, go through them so that to release them healthily.
They were anything but ready for the privilege of raising innocent beings who didn’t even ask for being here.
And until we could find their trigger at adulthood — hopefully during this physical existence, we will continue to be clueless and trapped in our denial mechanism, sadly.
Having a ‘Savior’ pattern, like most codependent folks whose free-will luckily chose the unaware empath path when trying to cope with their unfriendly environment, doesn't make things any easier.
I am familiar with the trap. Here was a piece I wrote last year about it, should you be interested:
What is mind-blowing is that yielding my rescuer pattern has been more challenging than the whole program re-writing process. The resistance was fierce, to say the least.
One impressive detail is how many layers this pattern contains. The first belief-level I destroyed — and my innocence with it — was, “All mortal beings are inherently good; thus, are worthy of being saved”.
The second one was way harder to indeed understand and accept, “Toxic inherently good people don’t deserve my investment”.
The final migration — the current step where I made satisfying progress — will, hopefully, be, “Even non-toxic inherently good people wouldn’t earn a chance unless they asked explicitly or implicitly for some guidance”.
Free-will is the keyword!
I suspect that what makes giving up on this pattern hard is the noble purpose. Unlike the limiting beliefs that we place as bad, being a savior is intrinsically good.
The truth is that it can only be harmful: first to the relationship, given their perception would be, "Something is fundamentally wrong about me; that's why Myriam wants to fix me".
Second, to me, since I am disrespecting myself in a way by offering my time and energy to an already lost cause.
