An Open Letter to Reshma Saujani

Dear Ms. Reshma Saujani,

You know nothing of me, but I am motivated by you every single day. I am one of the many girls you are on a mission to empower through Girls Who Code. You are my role model, who inspired me to get involved in STEAM and eventually, become an advocate myself. You are the one who propelled me to take this journey I am going to share with you right now.

Tuesday, May 15th, 2018 I stepped into the auxiliary gym to take my first AP exam: AP Computer Science A. I was one of the three sophomore girls taking the test that day, all 3 of us being of Indian descent. I truly felt prepared to take the test. For many people around me, it was just another chance to earn college credit, show course vigor, or appear to be more well-rounded on their resume. But for me, this was a personal endeavor…It was about being brave enough to step out of my comfort zone and stop worrying about achieving perfection.

Hi, my name is Iccha Singh and I am a Junior at Montgomery High School in New Jersey. When I was in 6th grade I started Techsters, a tech-club for middle schoolers. I have attended many hackathons, and volunteer at numerous tech events. Beyond exposing myself to these opportunities, I’m also a champion for getting more girls interested in STEAM. Despite all those efforts, I never actually felt like one of those girls myself. You see, my strong suits are communication and leadership. So when I was introduced to basic HTML and CSS I had the inclination to start my own tech-club so I could find a community of like-minded people. But, ever since then, I struggle with seeing myself as a hard-core coder. I kept promoting coding and engineering to other girls when I, as a self-proclaimed ambassador, had not taken the challenge myself.

So when it came to choosing electives in high school, I chose Java and then gradually, AP CS. This was my time, I convinced myself, to finally learn more about programming. But it turns out, I wasn’t that good. In fact, I got mid 70s on all of my assessments, while the people around me were getting high 90s and bragging about how it was “a piece of cake.” There were only a few people, it seemed like, who were actually being challenged in the class. Everytime I would encounter a bug in my code, I looked up and would stare straight into the poster in front of me that said “If they can do it, you can too!” and it pointed to a picture of two, middle-aged white men, and everytime, it pushed me to get back to work. It reminded me of the true reason I was here, reminded me of what I believed in: Diversity in the STEAM field.

I studied very hard for the exam. Instead of saying I learned all of the concepts in that class, I would say that I learned how to learn. I learned how to pick apart problems, trace tedious code, write algorithms, and feel more confident with each thing I got right. However, then I got my results back, and I got a 3.

This may seem like an anticlimactic moment, a Failure Friday, a need for serious reconsideration about where my life is going. At first, I thought it was too. However, after reflection, from the two solid months I spent studying and learning, I passed a college level computer science course. Yes, I may not get credit, but it will lead me to strengthen my foundation further in college. I forced myself to be brave, and did the scary thing that a lot of other people I identified with were NOT doing. In fact, taking AP Computer Science A as a sophomore is probably the hardest thing I have done so far. But I learned that the only way to combat this insecurity was to face it head on. Cliché I know, but I had to live my own journey to come to this realization.

Maybe I am not as good at decoding algorithms as the person next to me in AP Computer Science, but I am not going to let that stop me from doing what sparked my interest in the first place. Technology can be used for social good, helping people all around the world, and I am determined that I will use it in this way someday in the near, bright future. I believe that now more-so than ever.

I am sharing my experience, not to be praised or criticized, but to encourage other girls to be brave, take on challenges they see in front of them, or push through the confidence gap that they may experience. Take the hard step, dive in, try hard, and don’t be afraid to fail. In many people’s’ eyes this would be seen as a dereliction, a waste of an AP course, a GPA crusher; however, I am consciously choosing not to view it that way. I am making the decision to use this as an experience to grow from, and to connect with other girls who may be fearing this potential “failure”. You go girl, you can do ANYTHING! It truly doesn’t matter how long it takes you or which path you take, but know that by stepping out of your comfort zone you are inspiring people all around you to do the same; making the world a better, more innovative place overall.

And hey, if you ever need advice or want to talk, feel free to email me at techstersums@gmail.com

This is my genuine story and I hope to enact change amongst the thousands of young girls, just like me, who look up to you to be the next leaders of our world. I would love the opportunity to connect with you and learn more about the positive impact you make across communities.

Best Regards,

Iccha Singh :)