9 Tips for Communicating with Teenagers

Parenting and communicating with teenagers can be challenging. Tense conversations and emotionally-charged reactions often lead to estranged family relationships. To help relieve the tension at home and improve your relationship, here are nine tips for communicating with teenagers in your home or extended family:

1. Be available
   Teens are more likely to talk during the casual, in-between times, such as driving to and from school and activities. Pay attention to when your teen is most prone to open up and be there.
2. Seek to understand
   Put yourself in your teen’s shoes, and try to understand their point of view. Let them finish before you respond, and if you’re not sure you understand, ask them to clarify. Observe how your teen talks and responds to you, and try to adapt to it.
3. Get involved
   Know what’s going on with your teen. Learn about their hobbies and show interest in them. Pay attention to your teen’s actions and feelings, and ask about them.
4. Be curious, not intrusive
   Share something you’ve been thinking about rather than always asking questions. Teens aren’t always responsive to endless, meddlesome questions. “At dinner, grill the food, not your children”.
5. Pay attention
   Teens long to be heard and understood, so let your teen know you’re listening. If your child approaches you to talk, put away the phone, tablet, computer, etc. Give them your full attention, and express interest in what they’re saying. Also, notice the details. The heart of the issue often comes through the trivial details. Pay attention to the little things, and you might find out what’s really going on with your teen.
6. Be a person
   Talk to your teen — don’t lecture them. Speak with them openly, honestly, and respectfully.
7. Keep a level head
   Soften your reaction, and respond in a way your teen will hear — teens don’t react well to anger. Respond with real emotion but don’t go over the top. Stay calm and collected even when you disagree. It’s okay to disagree — let your teen know that.
8. Be a conversation role model
   Children, even teens, learn from their parents, so be a noble role model. Show your teen how to handle anger, solve problems, and work through tough issues.
9. Give advice
   Offer assistance to your teen. Draw from your life wisdom but also understand your experience might be different from your child’s situation. Guide your teen, but in the end, let them make their own decision as long as the consequences aren’t dangerous.

Let Us Know!

What techniques have you used to communicate with your teenager?

Originally published at www.rawhide.org