Signs You Are Not Ready for a Relationship | by Oghenefega Jacenta Arhueremu

Wanting a relationship is not as important as being ready for one. Often times, we find ourselves focusing on our expectations from prospective partners, their looks, how the relationship would be and all that. We fail to look internally and tell if really we are ready enough to handle one.

A lot of people spend their time trying to get into and stay in a relationship that ordinarily they have no business being near.

Being in a healthy relationship is great and exhilarating, but a relationship is not that missing puzzle we need to complete our lives.

It is better to be single than get stuck in a relationship.

What are some of the signs that we’re not ready to build a relationship?

1. When You’re Yet To Create Happiness From Within

You don’t have to feel incomplete outside of a relationship. Happiness isn’t something you expect from a relationship, but something you bring into it. To find love or happiness from another person, you need to first discover it from you.

2. You’ve Not Gotten Over Your Ex (if you’ve been in one before)

If you’re not over one person, you don’t have the right being with another. You can’t reach for what is in front of you until you’ve let go of what’s behind you. If you’re constantly thinking about your ex in your present relationship, it’s likely that you built your current one thinking it will distract you from your previous one, or even because you’re trying to make your ex jealous. This is not a mature way to build a relationship. It will go down the drain in no time.

Before thinking of building a relationship, evaluate your previous one and draw lessons from it, why did it not work out? What did I not do? What did I do that I wasn’t supposed to have done? Draw lessons from the previous.

3. When You’re Desperate

Are you itching to be in a new relationship? Do you constantly picture and think about how you’ll run your next relationship? Are you already making plans on changing your routine? It’s fine to adjust your routine being in a new relationship, but making plans on doing so in anticipation of the next is not a cool idea.

4. You constantly Feel Lonely

5. You Let Go Of Your Individuality

6. You Place So Much Value On superficial Traits

Everyone mustn’t be sapiosexual, but paying so much attention to your potential partner’s looks and what to physically receive from them isn’t the best way to begin. Relationships are beyond the physical things we see.

On the other hand, how do you know you’re ready for a relationship?

• When you’re ready to blend your life into someone else’s.
• Your ex is no longer a factor.
• You’re entirely yourself
• You’re ready to put someone’s interest ahead of you.
• You’ve understood the importance of communication.
• You’re mature enough to let the little things slide
• You’ve found happiness from within.
• You’re ready to accept someone as they are.
• You’re happy being single.
• You don’t need someone to complete you.
• You are working towards marriage with the person and not just to wile away time
• You are spiritually, emotionally and mentally mature enough to handle one
• As a christian, you’ve gotten a go ahead from God

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Originally published at teensmeetonline.com on February 7, 2018.