Why Your Ex Moved On So Fast
and why you shouldn’t do the same
You feel like your heart has shattered into a ba-jillion pieces and there is no way in hope it will ever glue back together again.
You thought you and your so were going to spend the rest of forever together.
Even if you didn’t think that, even if it was a mutual break up, even if you know it was the right decision, you still miss them a ton and are thinking back on all the good times.
Then, while scrolling through Instagram or Facebook one day you see it…
A sight you can never prepare for.
Your ex has a new flame.
For whatever reason you didn’t block them, you are paying for it now.
You can’t help yourself. You want to know who your replacement is and why they are “better” than you. (Spoiler: they aren’t)
You click their name and wam-bam-thank-you-mam, their profile appears right before you.
You spend the next however long wasting time stalking their profile. Yes, stalking. They’re gorgeous, they are so successful, they (insert positive qualities here).
Let me stop you now. I’m pulling your eyes away, okay? Look at me. Trust me.
They aren’t worth your time.
You don’t know this new person from a bar of soap. A blade of grass. A rogue M&M in a popcorn box.
The point I’m trying to make is you and your ex broke up for a reason.
You now have a beautiful opportunity to explore a new path without them.
Do what you should have done when you first broke up and block them.
No, it is not immature.
No, you shouldn’t message them to let them know before you do it.
Yes, you should block their new partner’s profile too.
It is called self love and self care. It is a mature move on your part.
But whyyyy did they move on so fast?
- They didn’t love you
I highly doubt this but I guess we should mention it.
There is a chance their feelings weren’t super invested in the relationship. So maybe they were able to move on so fast because the heartbreak wasn’t the size of Mt Everest.
2. They did love you
The gaping hole you left behind is so painful they tried to fill it with anybody.
They jumped on to Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, any dating app, possibly all the dating apps, and started swiping right and messaging people left-right-and-centre.
All in some hope they could create a band-aid solution for their heartbreak.
3. It’s just life
The first two points are assumptions.
Fact is, you won’t know why they were able to move on so fast without asking them.
Don’t ask them!
Even if you did they might not know why. Or perhaps their reasoning makes sense to them, but isn’t the whole truth.
You shared your life with this person and now it’s over.
It’s time to put yourself first, and move on.
In life, you will realize there is a role for everyone you meet. Some will test you, some will use you, some will love you, and some will teach you. But the ones who are truly important are the ones who bring out the best in you. They are the rare and amazing people who remind you why it’s worth it.
Read more at: https://dailyinspirationalquotes.in
Now, why shouldn’t you go out there and find your own replacement?
Well, this is a beautiful time to focus on YOURSELF.
Of course you can go on dates, have one night stands, engage in dating apps. You can do whatever you want.
Just make sure you are doing it for the right reasons.
Ask yourself: am I happy being single?
If the answer is no, you aren’t ready to start dating again. You aren’t ready for a relationship yet.
A partner is not going to make you happy.
You need to make yourself happy, first.
What you should do instead:
- Take yourself out on a date
Think of the perfect date someone could take you on, and take yourself on it.
Buy something nice for yourself. For me, I went out and bought roller skates. Did I need them? No. Did I want them? You bet.
Now I have a new hobby and something special that’s just for me. Sure it doesn’t replace the ex, but it does help shift the focus to self love.
2. Find something good in every day
This is different to the gratitude journal. I’m not saying find something you are grateful for every day.
I’m saying find something good, something that makes you happy, relaxed, smile.
For me, it’s cycling along the river.
Going rock climbing.
Eating an oreo icecream while sitting outside in the sun on a beanbag.
Hearing kookaburras in the early afternoon.
3. Feel your emotions
Have a good cry on the shower floor.
Write down your thoughts and feelings.
Be kind to yourself during this time. By that I mean think nice thoughts about yourself. Give yourself a break. You’re doing the best you can during this sensitive time.
Time really does help. I know everybody says it, but have you thought the reason it is said so many times is because it rings true?
Remember: you will get through this. You will. I know it.
Healing from heartbreak is a painful journey. But one we all must go through to change and grow.
You will come out of this stronger and with more life experience under your belt. You will love again.
Stay safe. Take care of yourself.
