Pizza Hut and the Horrors of Customer Service
(This post is the first in a series of stories from years snowboarding)
As the leaves begin to turn, snowboarders across the country feel a certain indescribable thickening. With changing seasons and dropping temperatures comes the thrill of another snowboarding season just around the corner.
Every season, Killington Mountain Resort strives to be the first ski slope open for business on the East Coast. The unbelievable staff at the mountain works day in and day out to produce enough snow to open a part of the hill at the beginning of November. Due to being the only resort open this early in the year, Killington has become a pilgrimage of sorts for skiers and snowboarders up and down the East Coast. Between 45 minute lift lines that quickly turn into parties and the little bit of snow we are fortunate enough to ride turning into a rutted mess, the on-hill activities during the daytime are often madness filled events gone too quick. However, due to the mountain’s location in central Vermont, the nighttime activities often supersede the actual riding as a large percentage of riders are forced to rent hotel rooms in order to ride all weekend.
Enter our crew. Consisting of 12 unique, wild 20-somethings packed into a two bed hotel room, our group changes out of our wet and smelly snowboarding gear into clothes for the night. The debate for where we will eat dinner quickly escalates before turning hostile with multiple parties divided. Some want a hero from the local deli, others prefer a burger from a fast food restaurant. After some 20 minutes of arguing, one younger friend pipes up with the suggestion of Pizza Hut much to the delight of the others. Although not everyone is sold on the idea, the pizza chain reigns supreme and we begin our trek for food.
Upon arriving at the restaurant, our gang of raucous snowboarders is greeted by Pam (changed name to preserve identity) who is clearly an inexperienced waitress. The first thought that entered my mind was “If only Pam knew what she was getting herself into”, but little did I know what we had gotten ourselves into. Pam comes in excited and introduces herself before taking drink orders: all good. While she is gone, everyone grows hungrier, more impatient, and begins partaking in some shenanigans that are met with hooting and hollering much to the dismay of the other patrons: let the fun begin.
Pam returns with a tray full of drinks, struggles to distribute them, and begins to take our orders. After a couple of the more mild mannered kids order, Pam arrives at the heart of the party who’s ready for a laugh. Our friend goes to order a pepperoni pizza, but Pam insists that he orders the MEAT LOVERS pie, with a very special emphasis on the “meat lovers” portion full of sexual overtone. Of course this is met with much delight by the crew who is now rolling on the ground laughing. “Did she just actually say that?” asks one. Pam continues to take a few more orders until she arrives at loud kid number two, who she once again correctly perceives is primed for another sex joke. The order comes in as a simple original personal pan pie, to which Pam responds “Are you sure you don’t want the STUFFED crust?” By this point Pam could do no wrong and had multiple kids crying out of laughter.
Pam continued to work her not so subtle charm: dropping a stack of 200 coins on the table for us to figure out our own change, insisting that we buy 5 cookie cakes so that she may receive one, explicitly telling us to give her good reviews in front of her boss, and my personal favorite of dropping one kid’s pizza while trying to box it, then proceeding to pick it up with her bare hands and putting it back into the box.
While I understand that not every employee cannot be worthy of a gold star, particularly at a chain restaurant in a small town, service at this quality level is hilarious yet unacceptable. We may still laugh at it today, but to think that consumer-facing businesses are forced to hire, train, and work with employees such as these is a task beyond comprehension.
