For All The Tripping
Too early to conclude.
A few years ago, my friend and I undertook a short one-day journey to accomplish some menial paperwork. A small registration type of thing had to be done that day. When I think about the day now, I think about the long route, the crowded buses, the unforgiving heat and humidity, and the thought that isn’t there a digital system through which we can get the registration done in a few minutes?
Don’t we all think about systems when we are unhappy with the disproportionate human resources required to do a small task? Or when we are in a hurry or obsessed with the thought that everything can be done a little faster if the internet is involved? Anyway, there wasn’t a system in place to get us registered online then, and I doubt if there is one now.
We started the day early, boarding a local bus from a bus stop near our college campus. The friend with whom I was travelling was just a classmate. I had talked to her previously on rare occasions whenever we were spontaneously huddled in a group of common friends. She was the kind of friend whose presence was acknowledged every time she crossed my path, but she didn’t drive a wave of happiness through my heart. You get that wave when you see your best friends, close friends, or sometimes secret crushes in public spaces like colleges and schools. Since we had a common destination, we decided to hop on the journey together, accompanying each other through the unplanned trip.
We switched multiple buses to reach our destination and back to our place. We trudged and collided with various people through the alley of the buses to place ourselves in convenient positions for travel. We talked a little more than usual and listened to a lot of music throughout the route. Despite the heat and humidity, the greenery around was a delightful sight, and it often sent us on mental trips while our favourite songs played in the background.
We learnt how many buses were required to reach the destination. Although, I don’t see myself applying the learnt knowledge anytime soon or maybe ever. The trip was successful but expended a lot of our energy. By the time we reached back, we were exhausted and ready to crash the bed, even if somebody placed it in the middle of the road. But something else happened in the middle of the road.
While crossing a vast road network after getting off the last bus, I thought about the passing day. I thought about how it ended well, even though the idea was not welcome initially. I was happy about getting to know the girl a little more and was pleased that I spent the day with someone outside my comfort group. I was apprehensive at the outset of the journey with someone outside my comfort group but ended up being satisfied. With positive thoughts, I continued navigating through the signals and crossings while mindlessly chatting about inconsequential things with the friend.
During one of those pompous impression-seeking chats, I suddenly tripped. I had twisted my ankle a little and lost balance, but the friend saved me from falling in the middle of the road. There was no obstacle on the road, just an unevenness I had seen before tripping. I didn’t expect to gloriously stumble after taking stock of what was ahead on the road. I was wearing a pair of flat sandals, which skilfully didn’t prevent me from the embarrassment.
The friend helped me regain my balance in a few seconds and even held my hand for a few minutes in case I demonstrated new ways of falling with flat sandals on flat roads. The positive feelings floating in my mind earlier slowly drifted away to unknown places. Perhaps, I was too eager to conclude the outcome of the day.
Less than a few years ago, there was an occasion for which we had to dress up grandly. We were excited about the affair and had started getting ready since the earliest rays of the day greeted us. One by one, we all helped each other with the venue’s decorations, the walls, the floors, and ourselves.
Even though we hurried with all the time and resources, we were still late for the event. I had worn a traditional dress with not-so-high heels. Upon donning the heels, I was questioned by a friend if I really wanted to carry them along with the burden of the dress. I assured her that I loved heels, that everything was well taken care of, and that she needed not to worry about it. She smiled wonderfully but didn’t sport a pair of heels herself.
We left our rooms behind, depicting the efforts undertaken for the event. Efforts of the trip that we undertook for this event. On our way to the venue, while we jointly assured and encouraged each other how wonderful everyone looked, irrespective of the closeness or future of the friendships, I tripped. I had twisted my left ankle due to an unexpected misalignment between my feet and the heels and lost balance. Everyone let out different gasps, but the one beside me did it while supporting me to stand back on the top of the heels.
In a matter of moments, I regained my posture and took every next step with a careful watch. The confidence that adored heels so much kept trying not to meet the eyes of the person who didn’t wear heels. The confidence was slowly transforming into a different feeling altogether. With regained balance, consciousness, and awareness, I stepped ahead with the support of my friend. The one who was beside me when I tripped.
Although, I completely lost awareness of what others were talking about on the way. Perhaps it was too early to declare that everything was well taken care of. Perhaps, I was too eager to conclude the start of the event.
A few weeks ago, we had to go on a half-an-hour trip to an organisation for a planned event. As usual, I was excited to go, and this time, I wore a different set of heels. The heels were broader in dimensions, with no pointedness involved, and they showed potential for preserving both my love for heels and my safety. Thus, it was a buy with high expectations of performance.
As a big group, we boarded a bus to the organisation and commenced our little journey for the evening. The half-an-hour passed as quickly as it had started. We got off the bus and headed straight to the organisation. On the way to the entrance, we enthusiastically caught up with each other’s lives, and I tripped.
Unlike other incidents, nobody was walking closely by my side this time. While losing balance, I chaotically waved my hands to grasp something, but nothing was around. People let out different variations of gasps, but before they could walk over and support me, I had reclaimed my posture on my own. The enthusiasm for catching up seeped slowly, and my mind focused on not tripping on the broad-based heels anymore.
Unfortunately, to my dismay, I tripped multiple times that evening until a friend caught hold of my hand to guide me through the marbled floors in the establishment, the roads, the potholes, the crossings, the bus steps, and eventually, through the evening. I was grateful for the friend but also felt a little weird. Perhaps, it was too early to declare what would fit perfectly on my feet. Perhaps, I was too eager to conclude the outcome of the evening.
A few days ago, a certain someone approached me to enquire about something where I was supposed to have adequate knowledge. We decided to stroll towards our building while discussing the enquiries. We walked between trees, corridors and other buildings until we reached our destination. We ascended through the steps of the building while I was engrossed in answering every question thrown in my direction.
For some reason, we had to step down the stairs, and characteristically, I tripped. It was a gentle, harmless, non-public trip, and I was saved by the surrounding railings. Naturally, I lost track of what I was saying. The certain someone confirmed if I was ok. I assured her that I was and tried to continue the discussion. With some help, I continued the conversation but with diminishing interest. After a while, I waved goodbye to the person and ascended to my room.
I was wearing sports sandals that evening, the shoes that represent the comfort of cushion chairs for feet. I hastily removed them outside my room and stepped inside. I shut the door behind me and stood close to the door. I rested my head on the back of the door, closed my eyes, and exhaled slowly. I let the feelings engulf me as I had recently learnt that allowing them in is possibly the best way to address them.
I pondered in several directions even though it was not needed. Perhaps, there is never a good time to get engrossed in conversations while walking. Perhaps, there is no good pair of shoes for me. Perhaps, shoes are not the problem here. Maybe it is tripping. But then I thought, tripping is not an issue either unless it is injurious.
Perhaps, it is too early to conclude what the problem is. Isn’t it always too early to determine what the problem is? Maybe we all struggle with the origin of all our trippings. Perhaps, it is not the trippings where we should focus.
