Member-only story
Second Thoughts About a Predator
Reflections on a person I thought I knew well
“Knowing what I know now, I would have done things differently.”
How many times have I made such a declaration? How many times have I beaten myself up for not acting on what I thought I knew, or for believing that what I saw and knew weren’t so bad, or were in reality nothing at all?
I’m wondering now why, when I saw a colleague of mine put his hand on a student’s knee while conferring in his office, it registered as only mildly troubling? No more troubling than my putting a hand on a student’s shoulder, I thought.
I’m not trying to be disingenuous. I know that there’s a difference in meaning and intent when talking about knees and shoulders. In the moment, though, we can pretend or talk ourselves out of all sorts of things.
My colleague’s office was at the end of our hall, and so I passed in front of it many times a day, entering and exiting my own office. I didn’t always look his way, but I did so often enough to witness this scene and others. Primarily, these other scenes took the form of my colleague sitting way too close to the student, their knees touching, almost entangling.
I told myself that my colleague had to sit so close because he was hearing impaired, that he had to read…
