Why Are You So Silent?
Maybe because…..
Solemnly, I crossed the threshold of my social capacity and entered the room full of exuberant individuals for an informal gathering and dinner. The tiny living space was reverberating with laughter and excitement, contrary to the stillness and quiet lingering outside. A few moments passed, and the host started serving the dinner while everyone interacted with each other.
I was content with answering the queries sent in my direction and didn’t volunteer to take the onus of the ongoing conversations. After filling our tummies with delicacies least expected away from home, all of us sat in a circle as if surrounding an invisible vibrant campfire. We told and listened to amusing seamless stories. The people animatedly narrated, intervened, commented, and chuckled at exciting instances. I did the same inconspicuously.
While I was basking in the glory of my unostentatious social engagement, one lady reclining in the left corner of the room blurted out to me, “Why are you so silent?”
I considered the harmless familiar question. I met her for the first time that evening and was already smitten by her joyful aura and pleasant confidence. The kind of confidence that doesn’t blare the red alarms and make you sprint in every direction but theirs. I gazed thoughtfully at her and imagined responding in a way that would match the salt of the question.
I imagined replying as if my answer was something everyone was looking forward to. I fantasized about perfect grammar, tone, and vocabulary. I imagined delicate hand gestures and regulated eyeball movements. I imagined poise and pose. I imagined smiling the perfect upward and flattened U-shaped smile that radiates acceptance and warmth. I imagined that my response would be the highlight of the evening.
Soon, the contours of the room started dissolving faintly and gradually. I started soaring past the people, the balcony, and the dark trees and mountains. I imagined the cool breeze tickling my hair and accentuating the nice layer cut. I imagined everything coming into place and spectacularly aiding in formulating a proper response to the familiar harmless question.
I rose endlessly and imagined a kind of response that people might remember. I rose endlessly and imagined a kind of response that might make people chuckle. I rose endlessly until I realized there was no one around, just complete darkness and shimmering stars in the distance.
I hovered momentarily and panicked at not responding yet. The walls materialized around me out of nowhere, and her expectant eyes demanded an answer but gently and kindly. I looked away and answered that “I take time in opening up”, and smiled my downward and flattened U-shaped smile that radiates I don’t know what.
