16 Reasons Your Cat Is a Better Coworker Than Karen
Working from home has pros and cons, but literally nobody misses Karen. Or Mike.
There are many things to miss about the office if you’re working from home, but even if you occasionally long for the office banter and the after-work drinks and the snack tables that you can’t get at home, let’s all admit that your home-office coworker, the cat, is just an infinitely better companion than Karen. And Mike. And Kevin, and Greg, and Jeanne, and Leanne, and Bill, and Dawn, and Devon, and Allie, and Chuck, and Dave. And goddamn Karen.
While you’re working from home, for instance, you do not miss Mike, who for some reason is simply incapable of remembering to plug in his headphones when he decides it’s time to really rock out to Imagine Dragons.
Oscar, meanwhile, doesn’t even like music!
And then there’s Kevin, who always takes the one good meeting room to work in even though he ISN’T HAVING A MEETING.
Muffin, on the other hand, is more than happy to share a meeting room, as long as you leave a little bit of sunbeam for him to lie in.
Oh, here’s Kevin again! Surprise! He took the only good couch in the break room all to himself!
Ginger also took the only good couch, but he’s more than happy to sit on your lap if you just ask.
Here’s Greg! He’s having a really loud phone conversation with someone at your shared desk, right near where your ears have to be. It sounds important!
Sylvester has never had a loud conversation in his life. He just likes to politely smell your shoes while you finish your project.
Oh look, it’s Jeanne. Elaine is explaining the new software to her again. She’s not listening! Tomorrow, it will be your turn to explain the new software to her again.
Princess Pudding is soft. Where? All over.
Working from home has a lot of drawbacks, but we sure as hell don’t miss Leanne, who is for some reason just always standing in the hallway and always wants to know how you’re doing.
Cindy Clawford doesn’t give a shit how you’re doing. She just wants to make absolutely sure you didn’t forget the goddamn Fancy Feast again.
Oh. It’s Mike again. Mike is making it really obvious that he’s too busy to answer your question, even though he has never done a minute of productive work in his life. Unless listening to Imagine Dragons’ double platinum 2017 album “Evolve” on repeat counts as work.
Generalissimo Cutieface actually is extremely busy doing productive work, but she can always make time for you.
Bill is also ready to make time for you. Provided you’re willing to talk to him about his sick new three-screen setup and gamer headphones.
Tiny McSweetypants thinks your one-screen setup is just fine.
Ah, there she is. It’s Karen. Karen likes to have meetings so she seems busy and important. Everyone has to come to her meetings, including the ones that are first thing in the morning. Oh, and she needs you to drop everything you’re doing to pull a whole lot of data for her and make it look pretty so she has something to talk about in her meeting. Thanks!
Queen Snugglepaws has figured out that the meeting can just be a short email to the team. And she’s pulled all the data you need into a nice little spreadsheet. Would you like some coffee?
Here’s Dawn. She’s supposed to be the project manager, but she’s showing everyone pictures of her cat.
Kitty McCatFace, on the other hand, IS your cat, which is a thousand times more interesting than other people’s cats.
Shhhh, it’s Devon. He hasn’t noticed you yet. Devon thinks he’s your boss, but he’s not.
Captain Furrypants … actually is your boss. Get back to work.
Allie gave you a nice smile when you walked past her desk. She is complaining about you on the company Slack.
Pudding is looking at cat pictures, which is what you’re supposed to do during work.
I literally can’t even with Chuck.
Professor Meatball, on the other hand? I can even.
Oh God, it’s Karen again. She’s called another meeting, but she doesn’t have an agenda.
Buttercup has called a meeting as well. This meeting definitely has an agenda.
Karen is between meetings. She’s making slurpy noises with her tea while you prepare some bar charts for her.
Andromeda is hydrating between meetings as well. It’s adorable.
And let’s not even start with Dave. Nobody knows what the point of Dave is.
These guys? What would even be the point without them?