A Cynic’s Account of Depression

As a child, I used to be full of energy, countless blastful opportunities lined up ahead of me, just within my grasp, albeit only seemingly. The older I got, the more aware I became of what reality really is. And that is where all the problems seem to stem from.

In early stages of our lives, we tend to base our drives on our sole imagination. Well, at least, this is the case for the generations preceding the one you all have just started thinking of, namely, generation Z.

As a person who is in her mid-20s at the moment, I managed to have a taste of the relatively simplistic life myself. I still remember the good old days when even PS1, VCD players, the internet connection, etc. were signs of economical empowerment. Therefore, all as such were some sort of luxury; all the while, we created and embellished our own playground, using old TV boxes as our castles, gathering pieces of rags to knock up so-called show costumes, so on and so forth. I personally never took fun for granted; never felt bored; or never felt emotionally drained either, for what it’s worth.

I am well aware that anyone up to the ages of 50–60s somehow found their way around technology, myself included. However, I do not really feel like I got carried away big time and wound up on a consumerism spree: Buy this, buy that; long live the purchase power! Still, the slightest part of me is reminiscent of this playground which I started up on my own. Oh boy, did I love my own games and toys. Anything could be recycled therein, and find its new purpose as a new game instrument. That being said, the world has evolved more than I ever thought possible, which is predominantly for the best, given that all mod cons -hence their head-spinning speed- facilitates our chores as well as our work and studies today.

So, here is million-dollar question: How are you getting on with this change of scenery?

I have been taking stock lately, and mulling things over and observing my surroundings only to find out what a nuthouse it is that we are striving in. Well, if it is any better, I feel obliged to admit that I do not intend to reinvent the wheel and blurt out psychological terms as if to coin new diseases here. Those who specialised in psychology (scientists, so to speak) broke the mold in that area just enough (I hereby salute Sir Freud shortly). Whoever I talk to mentions some chronic banes which they are suffering from. The list goes on and on: depression, burn-out syndrome, manic depression, major depression, social anxiety, middle-age crisis, and whatnot, you name it.

I feel you are possibly losing your grip now as I have just jumped from the mod cons issues into rants and raves about humans’ mental hell. But who is to say they are not related on any level. Well, my friends, we all live in a world wherein all crop up even faster and all the grapevines are woven to the farthest reach of the planet Earth. Communication is fairly expeditious; such is the process of all types of errands you need to run, tasks you need to finish, the work you need to keep up with, papers you have to turn in. Thus, the human body is required to function just as swiftly. Yes, you’ve heard it! We have to tune in with this momentum now. Some folks love to stick to their guns and remain in constant denial; thereby does their failure in adaptation kick in. Do I love this sh*tshow.

Let’s face this: We are tired, worn out, so to speak, burned out, for that malarkey weighs us down evidently. Do this, do that, run there, bustle around everywhere, on and on in circles, but with an insurmountable workload on our shoulders, while getting by on a shoelace, and running out of battery. I have a hunch that some of you are sick of moaning about the respective issue, but I cannot have my wits about me at all times anymore. I feel like screaming at the top of my lungs just like Linda Perry did once: “What’s going on?”

Well, unfortunately, I do not reckon life has got any promising solutions around the corner somewhere yet to come about anytime soon. Neither have our flaxed-out brains. Perhaps, nothing we could do will change our well-being, which is hanging by a thread. Feeling on the verge of caving in? You might as well just let go. I used to act like a crusader, but at the end of the day, it all came down to one thing.

I have got to swot up on that exam thing.