A Friend by Yusuf Bektaş

It was only Wednesday, I already felt like this week was never going to end. After I counted seconds of the remaining time of the Algebra class, the divine noise finally sounded. The day was over. After school it was going to be the same as ever. Not in a bad way though, every day after school we go to Nicky’s house. She and I play games, read poetry… You know, killing time and fooling around.
When I went to the desk after packing my enormously big notebook into my backpack, her face seemed a little different than always. It was like she had a light pointed at her face. “Whatcha doin’ stupid?” I said, she raised her eyebrows and cracked a smile, just as big as only I could notice on her lovely face.
We’ve been friends for almost three years, and during these years she was through a lot. She was cheated by her long-faced no-good boyfriend, her sweet Nana was diagnosed with cancer, and also her money-for-and-is-love parents were pushing her to make a career decision and forcing her to go to a shrink, ugh. To put it shortly, she’s been through hell.
After getting out of the perimeter of the school, we started to talk about what was going to happen after this, after school, after growing up.
“Everything and everyone is so fake, I can’t bear it. Everywhere I look I see people pretending, pretending to be a friend, pretending to understand. There is nothing genuine about this world, I swear, nothing!” I could say that her thoughts were more aggressive than in the past and now she generalized the world a bit more than usual. What’s more fascinating is that she took notice of other people’s social interactions, which she never does. She continued, “Do I have to join the acting circus of the world too? Is this what growing up praised to be? Pretending to do things -and even enjoy- that no way in hell you would otherwise?” I noticed that we turned left at Bookend Street. The way to the right lead to her house, so we must be going to Mrs. Spinster’s then, the so-called shrink. “If this is the adult world then why the hell would I want to take a part in it. It doesn’t make sense to me, does it to you, buddy?” I didn’t know what to say, or what to say to her exactly. I always thought of other people as beings living inside their own boxes, not wanting to change dimensions of the box until they build a family or whatnot. “Same here.” I was at least able to say that.
We were going to the psychiatrist’s office, I was sure. She never willingly wanted to go there nor she heeded her words like, ever. I always insisted on her seeing Mrs. Spinster periodically and she would always find another excuse to not see her. She would call her a shrink and ridicule her methods of approaching her. But I was doing everything I can to take her there. She needed every help she could get, especially from professionals who knew what was going on with her.
“Are you going to show Mrs. Spinster our painting?” I asked, “Do you want me to? I think I took a picture of it, it must be on my phone. If my co-artist consents, then I shall show her the picture”. “Yeah, I consent. Audience is audience am I right?” I told her laughing.
When we reached the office it started to rain. There was still time until her appointment so we lounged in the chairs and we flipped through some of the old magazines. Shortly after, Mrs.Spinster and the must-be-one-of-her-clients came to the lobby. She greeted Nicky and put her arm on her shoulder. As they started to walk I followed back, even from the first days of her sessions I would join them in the room and read a magazine or play with my gameboy. But this time they shut the door on me. I was surprised but I understood, she could very well want a little privacy, this was a shrink’s office anyway. So I waited in the lobby, played games and whatnot. After some time she got out and said goodbye to the kind middle-aged psychiatrist. How could we be so cruel to call her a shrink?
On the way home she didn´t talk to me. She put her hands in her pockets and was walking absurdly fast. “Hey dude, talk to me.” I said, curious about her want of sudden privacy in the office.
“This… we cannot talk anymore”.
“The hell are you talking about? What did she say?”
“Our friendship…is not healthy for me, please stop talking to me”.
As she said that I think I saw a few teardrops going down and mixing with the rain on her cheeks.
“What did I… You are my everything, I cannot stop seeing you”.
“We… We have to stop. As I…-”
“-I love you”. As I said this, I started crying too.
“I love you more than you could ever love me, but you are not real!”
“What do you mean? I am real as you are and everything I have is you”.
“Goodbye…”
She turned her head and continued on walking, even faster. What did she mean? I wanted to ask so many questions. I tried to follow her but my vision started to get blurry and then everything started to zoom out into distance. I desperately shouted “Don’t leave me, please… I need you”, but she seemed to have lost her ability to hear.
Then everything went to black. I was suspended in black void without a body, not even a shape really. What was I? A dream, a piece of imagination? For an eternity I’ve been here. I continue on being here. I made my peace with the idea of being someone’s imaginary friend now. I’ve completed my mission and had lived a wonderful life with Nicky. I am now happy.