“Loneliness is a sign you are in desperate need of yourself.”
― Rupi Kaur, Milk and Honey
Here is the thing: Valentine’s day is not what it seems.
It’s weeks before Valentine’s day but already, you’re seeing your online personalities start talking about their fabulous plans.
If you’re single and experiencing feelings of loneliness and/or worthlessness during this time of the year, you’re not alone. A Canadian survey revealed that 1 in 3 people aren’t happy with their love life and 1 in 4 wish they had more friends (CMHA).
For those in relationships, it might feel like a day full of unrealistic expectations that include fairytale-like dates, perfect gifts, and chocolates. A quick search on the internet will illustrate the vast amounts of anxiety and stress Valentine’s day can bring into people’s lives. According to the Canadian Mental Health Association, “a US poll found that a third of people (including those in relationships) say they feel more dread than excitement about the day”.
Whether you’re single or in a relationship, Valentine’s Day affects everyone. For many, it’s a reminder that they might not have what (or who) they want or expect in their relationships.
1 in 3 Canadian couples living together argues at least once a week
1. Celebrate YOU!
Just because you’re single (or in a relationship but celebrating alone), doesn’t mean that you can’t celebrate the most important person in your life. YOU! Valentine’s day is the perfect opportunity to pamper yourself. Make your favourite foods or get some take-out, prepare a bubble bath, go get a manicure, whatever it is — treat yourself to something you know will relieve your stress and make you feel good about yourself.
2. Show all your relationships some love
Valentine’s day doesn’t have to be just about romantic relationships. Take a break from all the lovey-dovey stuff in your social media feeds. Celebrate new and old friendships alike by throwing an Anti-Valentine’s Day get-together or enjoying a night in, watching your favourite TV shows.
3. Remember your love is not equal to money
Do you hear the words “Valentine’s Day” and immediately picture fancy dinners and expensive gifts? Don’t set yourself up for failure. Remember that these expectations might be unrealistic not only for your (or your partner’s) budget but also in your personal life.Most importantly, remember that your love does not equate to the amount of money you’re able to spend on your partner.
4. Take a break from social media
It’s always fun to see what your friends and family are up to but social media can also take a toll on your mental health. Remember that pictures on social media platforms like Instagram are curated images, not real representations of their daily lives. In fact, 1 in 3 Canadian couples living together argues at least once a week (CMHA).
5. Speak to someone
Speak to a friend or try writing your feelings down. Coping mechanisms can do us a world of good when implemented correctly. If your feelings of loneliness and/or worthlessness last, consider speaking to someone. Terrace’s Wellness Centre offers affordable counselling options for those in the community.