Altering Course: PYL In-Flight: Oct 30, 2021
Welcome Back My Intuitive Passengers:
I was taught at an early age that once you made a decision, you needed to stick with it. If I signed up for a sport or a class or started to read a book, I needed to finish. I was also taught that if I put it on my plate, I had to eat it.
Make a decision or a commitment and follow through. To change your mind meant you lacked integrity.
I spent a lot of time doing and reading and eating things I didn’t really want to, but to change course was not acceptable. Or so I thought.
I can’t recall the first time I chose not to finish a book. It might have been when I was reading The Goldfinch when it came out. Was that ten years ago? It was hard and painful (kind of like the book) to decide to put the book down and leave it for good. It felt like I was breaking a promise. It’s gotten easier over time and now I read the last chapter to see if the ending will make it worth the effort to go back and keep reading
Recently I had the opportunity to invest in and become CEO of a startup. I’ve mentioned it a few times in my weekly In-Flight and on my YouTube channel. We were in the final negotiations and a little thing happened to make me step back and take a cold, hard look at the opportunity.
I decided not to pursue it.
The decision was both easy and very difficult.
I’ve spent the last four and a half months working with a lovely man, the founder of the company. We restructured the company. We closed a deal and started to work with the customer. We dealt with conflict and successffuly worked through it each time. We became friends as we worked on (re)laying the groundwork for his company.
On Thursday, one little thing made me step back and pay attention to my intuition.
No situation is going to be perfect and while there were some issues along the way, none of them individually caused me concern. As I took a closer look and assessed them together, I realized that this wasn’t the right opportunity for me. I was not the right woman for the job.
It was incredibly difficult to tell him that I’d changed my mind.
We were down to the very last detail, a detail I am confident we could have worked through successfully, but I couldn’t get past the other issues I’d originally dismissed. I hadn’t ignored them; I’d decided, at the time, that they were not significant enough to derail the deal.
I know I took him by surprise because I too was surprised. Wednesday we were fine. Thursday we weren’t. This definitely wasn’t part of the plan.
My friend Candice texted me that she thinks I have the strongest sense of intuition of anyone she knows (which also surprised me).
I’ve spent the last few years really trying to listen to my intuition. Our society hasn’t respected this aspect of the feminine and I spent years suppressing it. I even worked with a coach a few years ago to get back in touch with my intuition after realizing that some of my best decisions were made when I ‘went with my gut.’
My husband asked me if I was relieved after making the decision and after checking in with my body, I said no. There was no sense of relief, only peace. That’s how I knew this was the right decision.
It just felt right.
And while I felt bad about disappointing my would-be business partner, I knew that to proceed down the path we were going was going to be worse for both of us. He deserves better.
I learned a lot and am grateful for the opportunity. When he asked me back in June to consider coming on as the CEO, I was honored. I now know I am 100% up for the job. I know that I’ll be doing it at some point in the future; just not now.
Are you in touch with your intuition? Do you pay attention to the niggle? How has that worked for you? Drop me a line and let me know.
With much love and gratitude,
P.S. Take the controls and be the pilot in your own life. It’s a beautiful day to fly, and you are cleared for takeoff.
Song: Intuition by Jewel
Facebook Group: Piloting Your Life (the book)
Facebook Page: Piloting Your Life