Am I a Good Mom? PYL In-Flight Entertainment (Dec 16, 2020)
Welcome Back My Reflective Passengers:
Time is going by so fast and so slowly at the same time. It’s a weird paradox (I think I am using that word correctly).
My clients are heading out on break this Friday and early next week so we are frantically trying to get a few things done so we don’t lose momentum on the projects in process. I will still be working on some things over their break but I won’t have access to them so I need to get a lot done between now and Friday.
This last minute rush is making it difficult to focus on being present for the holidays and for my family.
Meanwhile I am trying to savor the moments with Rei, my 16 year old, who is choosing to spend time with me which is lovely.
Saturday we spent the day together, listening to an audiobook (The Beekeeper’s Apprentice, the first book in one of our favorite series) as we did the garden puzzle shown above.
It was gray, cold and drizzly outside so my regularly scheduled mixed doubles match was canceled. Zeke was at work so it was just us two with the furry ones (Violet, Zuko and Felix), a lovely fire and the holiday decorations.
I resisted the pull of the work I had to do. I’ve been thinking about how this has always been a struggle as a working mom, and even when I was home on maternity leave.
There was always something that needed doing whether it was client work or paying bills or doing laundry or buying gifts for others or arranging get togethers. The list of To Dos was never ending.
As someone who is goal oriented and has been known to create a list to cross things off, I wonder if I would have been better served putting ‘time with the kids’ on the list and treating it as a higher priority.
This isn’t to say that I didn’t spend time with my kids; I did and I do.
But I was the mom who took them places like museums and France and did dance recitals with them. We bake(d) holiday cookies together. I did not play Candyland with them. I love that Rei likes to play cards so we now have an activity we can enjoy together. That reminds me that I want to get them a cribbage board for Christmas and remember how to play.
I love my family. I love what we have created. It’s hard on a lot of days but it’s been worth it and I am grateful for all of it. Would I do anything differently if I had the chance? Absolutely. What you might be asking? I definitely would have found a way to let go of that demanding tug of responsibility to other things that, upon reflection, don’t seem as important.
How about you? If you had a do-over, what would you do differently?
YouTube: Moms Make Holidays Special (Unpaid/Underappreciated Effort)
Yesterday’s video definitely hit home with a number of my women viewers, especially the moms. When you watch it, you will understand what I mean.
I’ve talked a lot before about the unpaid labor and burden carried by women in society and holidays and traditions are in the top 10 on that list.
Who is the keeper of the traditions in your life? I’m willing to bet that it’s the women. Who pays attention to the details and makes sure connections are created and maintained with others? Once again, I am willing to bet it’s the women.
Let me know your thoughts after you watch the video. If you think I am wrong, well, fight me.
Last week I spent 48 hours in Sonoma with my 16 year old and it was fabulous. I used the time away to reflect on 2020 including some journaling with prompts from Whitney Danielle of Network and Spill fame and plan for 2021 similar to how I did last year when I was inspired by Stephanie Sammons, the Midlie Money Gal. In Saturday’s episode I shared my process, my tools, some of my reflections, and my plans for 2021. There are 15 days left in 2020!
What’s my challenge for you today? Slow down and savor the moments. Think about 2020 and what you want in 2021. Maybe set the bar of responsibility a little lower.
With much love and gratitude,
Terri
P.S. Take the controls and be the pilot in your own life. It’s a beautiful day to fly, and you are cleared for takeoff.
Song: The Best Day by Taylor Swift
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