Asking for It: PYL In-Flight Entertainment (Apr 16, 2021)

Welcome Back My Demanding Passengers:

Do you ask for what you want or were you raised/socialized to only ask for something if you are almost 100% confident that the answer will be yes?

Do you wait for someone to offer based on subtle hints or do you ask for what you want?

I didn’t know this was a thing until a friend of mine posted a thread on Facebook explaining the difference between ‘askers’ and ‘guessers.’ While I think the term ‘guesser’ is misleading, I 100% identify as one based on the explanation.

As ‘guessers’ we are trained to subtley put out ‘delicate feelers’ to get a sense of whether the answer to a request will be yes or no. This is not passive aggressive behavior, despite what ‘askers’ might think.

For someone like me, the idea of putting someone in the uncomfortable position of saying no is nearly unbearable.

Per the thread, ‘ask’ and ‘guess’ cultures represent two “opposing ways of interacting with the world.”

Whether this is valid based on scientific research, I don’t really care because this makes sense to me.

And it inspires me to ask for what I want without hesitation.

I even practiced this with my husband Zeke last night. It was uncomfortable but yielded the result I was looking for. I did tell him what I was doing and why and he looked at me as if I was nuts. I don’t think I explained it very well.

What’s my challenge for you today? Think about whether you are an ‘asker’ or a ‘guesser’ and how you interact with folks who are the opposite. If you are a ‘guesser’, try asking for what you want and let me know how it goes.

With much love and gratitude,

Terri

P.S. Take the controls and be the pilot in your own life. It’s a beautiful day to fly, and you are cleared for takeoff.

Song: Gimme Gimme Gimme from Mamma Mia

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