Belle of the Ball: PYL In-Flight: May 9, 2023

Welcome Back My Darling Passengers:

Last week, I unexpectedly found myself the belle of the ball on the tennis court at the Palm Springs Tennis Club. And you know what? It was delightful and effortless.

Whenever I play tennis (but especially in Palm Springs), I make every effort to play well, be supportive of everyone on the court, and have a great time. This means I try to laugh and smile a lot and not take myself (or anyone else) too seriously. Last week (while nomadically working from Palm Springs), this turned out to be the winning combination in that I found myself being asked to play both the 7:30 and 9 AM timeslots each day and I made some new friends. My dance card was delightfully full.

I wasn’t trying to impress anyone. I didn’t have to try to fit in. I didn’t care what anyone thought of me. I didn’t have to pretend to enjoy myself regardless of whether my partner and I were winning or losing. Nothing was at stake. It was effortless. And, as a result, I was happy, fun, carefree, and the belle of the ball.

There’s a section in my Silk + Sonder planner that invites me to share how I want to feel each week and each week, I write the same thing: I want to feel content, light, productive, and healthy. Last week I nailed all of these. Not an easy task for someone who is generally pretty intense.

The challenge is in making this possible at home, when there are more obligations and distractions. I wasn’t on vacation last week, but I also didn’t have George to attend to and the house and garden projects weren’t screaming for my attention.

I talked with one of the gals I played with (Katie) who used to live in the Bay Area about why it felt so different in Palm Springs. Was it that more people are retired and don’t have kids at home? She said that in the Bay Area, we are on 24/7 but in Palm Springs, people end their workday and set aside time to play. There’s more time to socialize as a result.

The social piece was really interesting. Other people were arranging dinners, drinks and parties. They appeared to have the time and energy to dedicate to entertaining as many saw it as an integral part of their days.

Here in the Bay Area it feels like a dinner or drinks is something we squeeze in and schedule months out and hope that we have the energy or don’t fall ill. I know I am guilty of scheduling a dinner or drinks, or accepting an invitation, only to look for ways to back out at the last minute. I wonder if we would be better off being a little more spontaneous and a little less scheduled.

As a consultant, writer, content creator, and recovering productivity addict, more often than not, I am looking for ways to make every moment meaningful, which means I struggle with true down time.

• If I’m reading a book, I am thinking about the review I am going to write or whether I am going to generate a reading guide and publish out on Medium.
• If I’m in the car or taking a walk by myself, I am listening to podcasts on something work-related (like my latest obsession, The Data Chief).
• Everywhere I go I look for photo ops to include in an IG or blog post, or a Google review.
• If I’m sitting still, I am thinking about business development and generating value for my current and future clients including topics for blog posts.

So much of my time is spent striving to get and stay ahead but after this past week, I am thinking more about how to find a better balance and grant myself the gift of time to just be.

I’ve said over and over that I expect to live to be at least 100. After turning 53 last month, this means I have about the same amount of time left to live. Yes, we need to be able to fund our lives for the next 50+ years, but we also need to enjoy the life we are currently living.

On social media earlier this year, I heard the term ‘midlife sabbatical’ and I’m playing with and exploring what this means. I haven’t had a consulting project since March 2022 and have had more of a break than I intended. I am trying not to freak out about it as I attempt to enjoy this time. I’m writing, reading, working on my relationship with Zeke, supporting our kids, playing tennis, going to the gym, traveling, and working on what’s next for me professionally.

We’ve all heard stories or seen firsthand how some folks in the generations before us have delayed traveling or taking up a hobby or sport until after they’ve retired only to discover they have the time, but their bodies won’t cooperate. I don’t want that to be my experience (and btw, my knees are really pissed off at me after all the tennis I’ve been playing).

How do we balance the need to generate income, save for the future, and enjoy the time that we have now without worrying that if we step out of our careers for half a second, that we won’t be able to step back in, in a meaningful way?

I don’t have the answer. If you do, please share. Meanwhile, I’ll go back to making it up as I go along, attempting to enjoy every minute of it while I can.

May you find peace, acceptance, and love today as you navigate being human.

With much love and gratitude,

Terri

This week’s song: Dancing Queen from Mamma Mia. This week I knew I wanted a disco song and after rejecting the obvious (Stayin’ Alive) I knew it had to be an Abba song. What’s the best Abba song with a dance-related title? Dancing Queen. Mamma Mia! is one of our family’s favorite movies so it had to be this version, and not the original by Abba.

Journal prompt / reflection: When do I feel most alive? What can I be doing now to more fully enjoy my life? What would happen if I took a midlife sabattical? What could I create for myself?

About the Author:

Terri Hanson Mead is the multi-award winning author of Piloting Your Life, Managing Partner of Solutions2Projects, LLC, and an advocate for women through all of her platforms including YouTube, Instagram, TikTok, and this blog. Terri is the mother of two college aged kids, is based in Redwood City, CA and in her spare time, loves to travel, cook, play tennis, and fly helicopters around the San Francisco Bay Area, especially under the Golden Gate Bridge. Oh, and she loves a good craft cocktail!

terrihansonmead.com
Piloting Your Life (the book)
Terri Mead YouTube Channel

Instagram: @terrihansonmead
Piloting Your Life (the podcast)

Instagram: @PilotingYourLife