Get Outta My Way! PYL In-Flight: Sept 11, 2023

Welcome Back My Block Buster Passengers:

I’ve been in a rut the last 18 months. I rolled off a client project March 31, 2022 and after six months of recovery from the worst project of my career, and sending Finn off to college, I began, in earnest to look for my next thing. It’s been a year and I think I finally might be on the right track.

Things started to click once I got out of my own way.

I’ve been letting perfect get in the way of progress.

I am not sure who it’s been more frustrating for, me or the people I confide in. As a verbal processor it’s not unusual for me to talk through ideas with people in my life (or complete strangers for that matter) and I’ve shared quite a few of them over the last year and a half. I must look slightly unreliable as I go from one hare-brained idea to another without full (or even partial) execution. If I were them, I’d be saying to myself,

“Terri, stop talking about it and just do something!”

They are partially right. I’ve been doing too much talking without enough action. At the same time, I am a verbal processor and as I share ideas with other people, I learn and gain additional information that helps to inform what I am seeking to achieve.

I’m also experiencing a fair amount of fear as I transition into what’s next for me. As much as I’ve come to loathe the day-to-day of enterprise system implementations in life sciences, I’ve also been very successful with them over the last 25 years.

To reach for something new means I need to let go of what has ‘worked’ and what I am familiar with, and trust that what I am moving toward will be better than where I’ve been.

It’s scary. What if it doesn’t work out? Can I go back? Will I find something that will work?

I had breakfast today with my friend Andrea who was in town for a conference. She has a young child who was worried about his mommy traveling on a plane.

He asked her before she left, “what if it the plane crashes, mommy?” She answered, “what if it goes really well and I come home with lots of candy and goodies for you?”

She flipped it from being fear-based to helping him focus on a positive outcome.

Our brains are wired to use fear to keep us out of trouble but this doesn’t always serve us well.

What bad thing is really going to happen if I

• Record a video and share it with my audience?
• Write a blog post on enterprise system failures and how to avoid them?
• Identify four topics I want to speak on around the world and share them with some of my contacts?
• Choose not to pursue consulting work for system implementations?
• Research women, aging, body image, and the patriarchy and share my findings?
• Create more midlife inspirational content?
• Reach out to publications to syndicate (and get paid for) my writing?

Thanks to my parents (and my past professional success), we have some additional financial runway for me to pursue some ideas without money being my primary concern. Don’t get me wrong, I want to be making money, but right now I have the luxury of choice. This in and of itself is interesting.

I don’t want to squander this time and therefore this fear has served as a constraint rather than as freedom.

So what changed recently for me to feel less stressed and more motivated to make some moves into unknown and uncomfortable territory? I don’t really know exactly but I think I decided to get out of my own way. I also got some positive feedback on some of my ideas. No, not feedback, more like positive input. And I said ‘yes’ to a few things that I really wanted to say ‘no’ to.

I was asked to participate in (and get paid for) something I initially felt was outside of my area of expertise when, in fact, it brings together three areas of my experience with a teeny tiny bit of stretch. I believe that there are more opportunities like this and I plan to pursue them.

I shared with two girlfriends last week how uncomfortable I am with my body and appearance right now which led to an idea to do some research on women, aging, body image, and the patriarchy. I’ve socialized the topic with a few more of my friends and am really excited about it. I plan to use it as my own personal therapy and take it to the stage with a huge amount of vulnerability.

Last year I decided to put Piloting Your Life the book on the shelf but I have changed my mind. I was afraid that I’d missed my window but I don’t think I have. The book is good. The information and stories are still relevant and it deserves a second chance. Actually, it needs to be out in the world for the women who will benefit from it.

Now that I think about it, I started taking some action and I am making decisions. I stopped talking about it and started doing something.

• I read the book The Swedish Art of Aging Exuberantly and wrote a blog post on my top 10 takeaways.
• I used ChatGPT to generate some questions for my body image and aging project.
• I read Gloria Steinem’s book The Truth Will Set You Free, but First It Will Piss You Off and found some great quotes to support some thoughts for two videos I want to record. I also used ChatGPT to generate some ideas for the videos.
• I decided not to do an AMA on IT projects and enterprise systems. I’m letting it go for now.
• I am reading books, listening to podcasts, and seeking information on midlife which has reignited my enthusiasm for relaunching my book.
• I agreed to the contract for the presentation and startup mentoring program

I’m not sitting around waiting for the answers to come to me; I am taking steps into the unknown, trusting that the right (for me) path will present itself.

Who knows where I will end up but being indecisive and standing still wasn’t getting me anywhere.

I’m feeling good energy and optimism for the first time in months. And it feels sooooo good!

May you find peace, acceptance, and love today as you navigate being human.

With much love and gratitude,

Terri

P.S. Happy birthday to Piloting Your Life which turned four on September 1st! If you haven’t read it, grab yourself a copy. If you loved it, gift a copy to a friend who could use it.

This week’s song: I Gotta a Feeling by Black Eyed Peas. This is such a great hype song for living it up. The song I was looking for had ‘it feels good’ in it but I couldn’t find the song and found this one instead.

On a slightly related note, I wonder what it must be like for women like Fergie or Kelly Clarkson who are now 40+. They have lots of videos and pictures of them in their youth, sometimes scantily clad as in this video, and now they are aging and no longer 20. If I think it’s hard to look back on pictures and compare to where I am now, I wonder what it’s like for them.

Journal prompt / reflection: What’s holding you back from pursuing something new? Is there something you want to do or someplace you want to go but are afraid to take action? Do you let fear get in the way? Do you need to get out of your own damn way?

terrihansonmead.com
Piloting Your Life (the book)
Terri Mead YouTube Channel

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