Labors of Love: PYL In-Flight: Sept 6, 2021
Welcome Back My Love Laboring Passengers:
What do you work for? Why do you do what you do every day?
Something on Friday got me thinking about labors of love. I’d like to think it wasn’t as simple as Labor Day weekend, but it might have been. The first three things I thought of were my two kids, Adam and Finn, and my book Piloting Your Life. Piloting Your LIfe (the book) turned 2 on September 1st and with nine months from start to finish, I consider it my book baby.
So then I got to thinking about why we do the things we do. Do we do them out of love? Obligation? Necessity? Something else?
And when are we the happiest, most content, and most fulfilled?
Last week was a challenging work week as I bounced between finishing an audit for a client, tried to get a client’s implementation project back on track, and continued to work the process on the CEO opportunity (we are getting closer to making it a reality). My ‘labor’ goes beyond the work I get paid for (and could get paid for) and extends to tasks and activities to make the/my world a better place.
It’s no secret that women in our society carry the extra burden of the emotional labor. We also bear the added burden of caretaking, household chores, and so much more unpaid labor that we do out of love and, frequently, out of obligation.
In December I recorded a YouTube video on how Moms Make Holidays Magical (Unpaid/Underappreciated Efforts). I was reminded of this video today when I received a community guideline violaton warning for an unacceptable link that turned out to be completely unrelated to the content (I’ve removed the link and appealed).
I’d completely forgotten about the video where I talked about how unappreciated I felt maintaining traditions, relationships, and communications that are critical to the fabric of our society. These aren’t just niceties; we need them as humans. And women do most of the (unpaid) work on all of these.
It was extremely painful this past week to hear that abortion was banned in Texas.
The war on women in the United States is alive and well thanks to (mostly white) men desperately struggling to hold on to their diminishing power and influence.
I think back to when I was 16 and accidentally got pregnant (with protection) not once but twice. Accidents happen. If I’d had to go through with either pregnancy, my life would be very different, and not in a good way.
I, as the one with a uterus, would have borne the burden while the sperm contributor would have been able to go blithely on with his life deciding what and how he wanted to contribute, if anything at all. There wouldn’t have been any forced penalties, bodily, mentally, or financially.
He would have choice. I would not have had the same luxury.
And where would I be now? I can’t even imagine.
To say that I am terrified about the state of the world right now is an understatement.
And I am pissed off at the time and energy we are wasting on something so basic as our rights to be treated equally as humans, with dignity and autonomy. This is bullshit.
I’m also tired, overwhelmed and I am struggling to remain optimistic about the future.
But I am a woman who was labored to bring good things into this world including my two children who we desperately wanted when we were thirty and mostly prepared to bring into this world. And that love labor continues as Finn moves into adulthood and Adam navigates being an adult.
While my love labor in helping our kids navigate early adulthood continues, my children aren’t my only labors of love. I labor as I lovingly contribute to my relationship with my husband, our home, our community, my friends, my community, and our society.
As a woman, though, I should not be defined and limited solely based on my reproductive organs and service to men. This is not a fight we should be having in 2021 but here we are.
As the woman that I am, I refuse to give up. I will not be silent or silenced. I will not be told to step back or step down.
Fortunately, there are plenty of smart, vocal, talented, connected women and supportive men) who are doing some really great things, contributing their labor if you will, to push back and push forward.
Joanne Wilson (aka Gotham Gal) is one of these people and I read her daily blog post to know I am not alone. There are folks on TikTok trying to educate believers and non-believers, one TikTok at a time. Through TikTok I learned about the Women’s March on October 2nd. There are thousands and thousands more of these lovely people contributing their time and labor to the cause.
All hope is not lost. Women make up over 50% of the population and we are getting louder by the day as we voice what we want and need in our world.
To create the world that we want, one that we want to live and love in, we must be intentional about how we spend our time and contribute our labor.
Make it count.
With much love and gratitude,
Terri
P.S. Take the controls and be the pilot in your own life. It’s a beautiful day to fly, and you are cleared for takeoff.
Song: I Touch Roses by Book of Love
terrihansonmead.com
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