Piloting Your Life: In-Flight Entertainment (Which seat is yours?) (Oct 7, 2020)
Welcome Back My Backseat Passengers:
Our son Adam surprised us witha 42 hour visit over the weekend. I say ‘surprise’ largely because we were given 12 hours’ notice.
On Saturday, I woke up at 5 AM and felt a jolt of concern when I saw a missed Facetime call at just before 11 PM from the night before. I wondered if it was a butt dial but my inner mama bear kicked in and I texted him to casually confirm everything was fine. Fortunately, he was awake and responded pretty quickly. He’d not yet gone to bed which I suppose was helpful.
He said (through very cryptic and abbreviated texts) that his roommate Bardin wanted to come home to get another computer and some surfboards and that Adam was coming with him (reluctantly I might add). Bardin lives up the hill from us and they’ve been friends since they played water polo together in high school.
I was distracted all day as I impatiently waited to see him actually walk through the front door. This was a first for us; having him come home without us picking him up in San Diego or from the airport.This was him getting here on his own (I did send Bardin gas money) which was a big shift. It wasn’t a comfortable shift but as I’ve always done, I had to adjust with him.
This is one of the many challenges of being a parent…keeping up with our kids as they grow and evolve. Just when I think I have it all figured out, my kids change making me have to figure it out all over again. Some days this is more painful than others.
I suppose we parents must have emotional and parenting growth spurts as our kids have theirs. Otherwise we end up clashing with them as we try to hold them back attempting to keep things the same as we try (unsuccessfully) to remain comfortable.This is not our role as parents. Our role is to prepare them for the driver’s seat as we move to the back and eventually out of the car!
I remember hearing someone say that as parents we hold our children’s entire lives in our mind.
When we look at them, we see who they were when they were younger, who they are now, and who we expect them to become. I am reminded of this as I look at all the pictures in my office.
Occasionally I am tempted to clean up my magnet board of pictures and start over but I just can’t bring myself to do it.
I like the memories associated with all of the pictures too much even if (like right now) they make me a little melancholy and sad.
On a lighter note, I needed to record three videos before my trip to Palm Springs and Adam graciously agreed to join me for a recorded conversation for the YouTube channel.
I told him I needed content and was pleasantly surprised when he agreed with very little grief. I totally took advantage of it. We talked Covid in his house, philosophy, and his college experience as a sophomore with a limited social life. Look for the video on Tuesday.
BTW, we only have until Thanksgiving to get to 50 likes on THE video where he issued THE challenge. After Thanksgiving (when he will next be here) the statute of lmiitations on the challenge will run out. Check out the video to see what I am talking about.
It was a fine visit and I was both sad and relieved to see him head back home in Bardin’s car filled with two surfboards, a computer, and Bardin’s sister’s bike (prety impressive I might add).
Adam wasn’t thrilled that I wanted to capture these last moments but Bardin is always a good sport for me. For his parents, well I am sure he acts more like Adam. One day he might appreciate how I’ve captured his life in photos even if he isn’t thrilled that I share them with all of you.
And the winner is…psych! We will do the drawing next week so there’s still time to get onto the PYL Bookclub Discord server to talk about Big Friendship. Here’s the link.
YouTube: Moving to the Backseat (Kids Leading the Way)
With Adam in the house, I decided to share my thoughts about having to continuously evolve as our kids lead the way. Rei mocks me and how sentimental I am so there’s that in this video. Sigh. Enjoy.
YouTube: Raise Your Hand if You’ve Had a Miscarriage (My Hand’s Up)
Before there were two babies for us, there was one (Adam) and then a miscarriage at 5 weeks. We were fortunate to be able to quickly get pregnant with Rei but I was nervous throughout the pregnancy as a result.
I recorded this video so that we can continue the conversation courageously boosted by Chrissy Teigen as she shared her recent stillbirth loss.
Miscarriage is normal and we need to be talking about it so we can be more supportive to not only the women experiencing it, but to the others around them who are also impacted. More in Saturday’s video.
What’s my challenge for you today? Send someone you love a text, a note, or call them to let them know you love them. Do it for no reason other than to share your love.
With much love and gratitude,
P.S. Take the controls and be the pilot in your own life. It’s a beautiful day to fly, and you are cleared for takeoff.
Song: I Got You by Ciara (warning: if you are a mom, this will make you cry)
Facebook Group: Piloting Your Life (the book)
Facebook Page: Piloting Your Life