Step Away from the Desk! PYL In-Flight: Dec 17, 2021

Welcome Back My Time Sensitive Passengers:

Where the hell did 2021 go? What about the last six weeks since my last In-Flight newsletter? Due to the time distortion caused by the pandemic, time
went by both really fast and really slow. Makes my head spin.

As you can see from the pic, we managed to get our tree after Thanksgiving (on schedule). I love this pic of the two of us. We both look tan and relaxed and happy. We must have been savoring the recent memories from our first kid-free vacation in over a decade (to Mexico). And yes, we loved every minute of it.

It was odd to be at our timeshare at Paradise Village without our kids (we started going there when Finn was 18 months old), but we quickly got used to setting our own agenda without being dictated by naps, cranky/hungry kids, or demands to go on the aligator slide for the 100th time.

For the first time in a very long time, I took a vacation without working more than 15 minutes a day.

I came back refreshed and committed to taking breaks throughout the day, making time for friends and family, and not being a total workaholic. I broke that commitment inside of 48 hours.

I have a client project going live on 1/1 and it’s been a crazy project (which is also why I haven’t written a newsletter since October 30th). So of course I had a good excuse to work like crazy.

Yesterday, Zeke asked me to go on a hike for his birthday, and said it was the only gift he wanted from me. Yikes! I took a breath, and after only a little bit of whining, I laced up my hiking shoes and hopped in the Land Rover to venture toward the coast.

I stepped away from my desk. And my computer. And my overwhelming To Do list.

While it was a gorgeous day and no one was out on this trail (nope, not gonna tell you where it is), I did struggle with taking the day off from my client project. I’ve been working nights and weekends to make sure the project is on track and as a consultant, I should be setting my own hours. But, as I fully realized yesterday, my workaholic tendencies persist.

I always thought I had a good work ethic and I was working hard to provide for my family but no, those were just excuses for me to hide behind as I tried to prove myself worthy of love. And prove that I was enough. I worked too much to avoid being labeled mediocre. I worked too much to be seen by some people who will never really see me.

In the process, I missed out on many family dinners with Zeke and the kids.In fact, I missed out on a lot with my kids, with my husband, and with my friends.

This really hit home as this little cutie shown here on their first day of kindergarten,

became this amazing young person who finished high school yesterday. Six months ahead of schedule.

And for comparison to the kindergarten photo, Finn grew a little and changed a lot.

My Co-Star yesterday was: How far are you going to avoid sitting with your own thoughts?

Yesterday and today? Not that far as I’ve been at my desk for most of the day with a short break for pickle ball with Zeke at our local tennis courts. But, to my credit, I sent a text to my client and said I had a meeting for 90 minutes and would be unavailable. And then I left my phone at home.

This is a big deal for me and one that I am trying to more of. You know, that boundary thing?

I felt the discomfort yesterday as I resisted the pull back to my desk.
I felt the discomfort today when I resisted the pull back to my desk.

My resistance was not to the discomfort, which is definitely a step in the right direction.

So this is for all of you who may be like me and have an addiction to work, or an addiction to being busy, or an addiction to checking things off a list. You know who you are.

Step away from the desk.
Step away from the list.

Get the fuck out into nature or sit the fuck down and watch some silly holiday romcom (Love Hard was pretty cute).

Spend some time with yourself.
Spend some time with the people you love.

Guilt free.

Savor the moments because you know what? In a blink of an eye, everything changes. I’m just glad that I didn’t totally screw things up with this guy. He may be 52 (and I am almost there) but we have a few good more years left in us (especially if we keep up our daily yoga, meditation, planks, and some midlife hanky panky).

Have a great weekend. If you need to come clean with any regrets, feel free to drop me a line. I promise to be supportive and provide a judgment free zone.

With much love and gratitude,

Terri

P.S. Take the controls and be the pilot in your own life. It’s a beautiful day to fly, and you are cleared for takeoff.

Song: Smoke Break by Carrie Underwood

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