The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*CK: Top 10 Takeaways

A good friend of mine gave me this book by Sarah Knight and I really looked forward to not only reading it, but learning how to not care so much about things that don’t really matter. Once again, this book, while well-intentioned, could have been much shorter. So, in order to save you some time and $16.99, here are my top 10 takeaways (spoiler alert: there is foul language):

1. Not giving a fuck means not spending time, energy and/or money on things that neither make you happy nor improve your life so that you can spend your time, energy and/or money on things that bring joy.
2. Not giving a fuck means allowing yourself to say no without worry, anxiety, fear, or guilt.
3. Not giving a fuck does not mean that you get to be an asshole. Act on your decisions in an honest, polite way. Full-blown honesty is not always the best policy.
4. Making it about a difference of opinion helps to avoid conflict and the possibility of hurt feelings.
5. It is important to establish a fuck budget and when something comes up, ask yourself what the matter means to you and whether caring about it is in your budget. Not everything will fit into your budget.
6. If you have not done anything to be sorry about, you can stop feeling sorry and stop saying that you are sorry.
7. Being liked and being respected are not necessarily the same things. Avoid the likeability vortex which occurs when you care more about being liked than about being worthy of respect. You cannot control whether or not people like you. But you can control your actions that will determine whether you are worthy of the respect of others.
8. Make sure your kids know that they too can make decisions about what they care about, and that they don’t need to pay attention to the approval or condescension of other people in deciding how to live their lives.
9. Sometimes there will be less than ideal situations in which case it is important to reframe your ‘fucks’ to make the most of the situation.
10. As you begin to establish your fuck budget and pursue those things that give you joy, do not confuse the feeling of freedom with feelings of regret or shame. This can be a pretty significant shift for some people and may take time to adjust as you practice the new behaviors.

I wonder if I had read The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up (upon which this book was parodied) if I would have found this more humorous. Regardless, it wasn’t a complete waste of time as I now actively practice (I have not yet reached expert level) not giving a fuck and I am starting to make better choices that will ‘annoy’ less and create more joy in my life. And for this I am not sorry.