Moral Standard
Morality is the differentiation of intentions, decisions, and actions between those that are distinguished as proper and those that are improper. Morality can be a body of standards or principles derived from a code of conduct from a particular philosophy, religion, culture, or it can derive from a standard that a person believes should be universal. Morality may also be specifically synonymous with “goodness” or “rightness” and become the standard of our doings.
“The most important human endeavor is the striving for morality in our actions. Our inner balance and even our very existence depend on it. Only morality in our actions can give beauty and dignity to life.”
Albert Einstein
When discussing what is right and wrong or making decisions, we often don’t worry about where our moral values came from. We are more concerned with what they are and how to apply them in a given situation. When I think about moral standards, the thing that popped up in my mind is a set of personal values that guide our decision-making. These values reside in our hearts and have been formed over our lifetime. Most of us have many values, but only a few become our core values. A few examples of core values are the belief in a god or an affiliation with a religious institution, the belief that family is of fundamental importance, the belief that honesty is the best policy and that trust has to be earned. We develop our core values during our early ages and their formation comes from the influences made by family, friends, organizations, and role models. These moral standards are influenced by a variety of factors such as the moral principles we accept as part of our nurture, values passed on to us through heritage and legacy, the religious values that we have swallowed from childhood, the values that were showcased during the period of our education, the behavior pattern of those who are around us, the explicit and implicit standards of our culture, our life experiences and more importantly, our critical reflections on these experiences. In our early days of childhood, we are living in a semi-conscious state, we may call it the programming state, where most of our inner beliefs, our ideas about the world, or our standpoint to view something is installed and hardwired into our brain’s operating system.
I have a quiet example here, you are one of those guys who hold friendship and boundaries in high regard, which unconsciously becomes your moral standards.
You and your bunch of besties go to a nightclub, boys and girls, each of the girls already has a boyfriend outside the circle. You simply want to sweat it out dancing and drinking with your friends, but as time goes by and your friends become far gone, awfully drunk. The fiery desire pushes them to kiss and taste the opposite sex, even though your friend. At some point you watch your friend get wild on the couch in front of you, and then one of your friends sit beside you and lean on your shoulder, you don't make out with her, you just delve into the facility and merge the vibes. She looks damn hot but you don't think she’s asking for it, so you hit the dance floor, chit-chat, and buy a couple of booze with her.
You could've done it with her the entire time but you don't, because you've recognized her as a significant other, not as sexual interest. So the question here is, where is that morality came from?
It could be family tradition influence, to treat women respectfully despite the chances, manners maketh man. Or intention, you came to the nightclub not to hook up so you don’t even try or think about it, you did want to have fun but you still have the boundaries, you think it is best to not cross the line. Or fear, you don’t know that she may or may not accept your bold move, self-protection against a painful hit of rejection. Or you did not want people to personify you like a horny animal who yearns for sexual desire, perhaps deep inside you try to remain your image good as a friend, and as a man of prudence. The fear of public shame, humiliation, and criticism keeps most people on a moralistic path. Many people can justify in their own mind why they would like to behave immorally but do not do so out of fear of public condemnation. Human beings are ego-based and the hardest thing for the ego to cope with is shame.
Whatever your situation is now, whatever your circumstances in life, a lot of it is not entirely due to your own control or will. Perhaps how you behave, how you act, and how you react is a result of a chain effect from birth until adulthood. The path you didn’t took becomes the representation of dignity, and the path you did took to becomes an aspect of beauty.
Written by Ikhsan Maulana
