Will The Real Snowflakes Please Stand Up?
Queen of the fake tan squad, female avenger of the Aryan race, and opposer of all things non-white, heterosexual, and conservative, Tomi Lahren was fired recently. Yes, you read that correctly. Normally this is the kind of thing that would make me, black twitter, and everything non-white, heterosexual, and conservative chuckle at, but today I howled in laughter. This is not something that a chuckle alone can bring justice to. It warrants more celebration. This might be the most meme worthy moment of Tom-tom’s career. Better than the time she foamed at the mouth, launched spit, a slew of incoherent sentences (all run-on btw), and damn near exploded and ruined that fake spray tan on TV, when she ranted against Colin Kaepernick’s anthem protest. BUT, before I get ahead of myself, allow me to explain why her termination happened. Earlier last week Tomato made an appearance on The View (yes it still airs) where she admitted to being pro-choice by stating that;
“You know what? I’m for limited government, so stay out of my guns, and you can stay out of my body as well”
While (can’t believe I’m admitting to this) I applauded Tic-tac on that specific stance, not everyone felt the same. In fact, Glenn Beck, the White Knight, and opposer of all things non-white, heterosexual, conservative, and also boss of Tablet, (see above description) was far from enthused. It took no time for Gum, ‘scuse me, Glenn, to put his twitter fingers to work as he battled his most trusted messenger of all things white as she defended her stance by tweeting;
The two began to trade blows, giving non-whites (see above description) an opportunity to grab popcorn and watch the most snowflake debate take place between two people who have problems with people they perceive to be ‘snowflakey’. Not one to ever back down from a fight, the Tan Queen was out ‘guns-a-blazing’ as was her former boss as he sent out a final tweet
At this point I don’t know what’s worse. The creator of Frankenstein trying to tame his creation, or the two being the biggest hypocrites on the planet and that is a pretty hard thing to do when you read all things Republican. I mean for people who are against ‘snowflakes’ as they call out anyone who opposes people actively trying to ruin the healthcare system for millions of Americans, or those who actually want someone qualified to run the country, this is top notch hypocrisy. Gag Beck threw a tantrum when his protege known for flip-flopping on her views went on The View to express her right of being pro-choice and suspended her for it first, then terminated her. I get it now. Teabag Lahren can spout all things racist and get away with it as long it’s against all things non-white, heterosexual, and conservative, but the minute it counters that, we have a problem? Gotcha Gumdrop.
As for Twinkle Lahren, I hope this is the rude awakening she needs to realize the truth about the side that she is on. And before any one comes at my neck, let me state that not everyone conservative fits into the mold of Grape Beck and Twix Lahren, but if you do, then respectfully hold this ‘L’ that all things non-white, heterosexual, and conservative just handed you. As for Tom-tom, she’ll be aight, not a single hair on that bleach-blonde hair will be harmed. Tomi, as a blonde-haired, blue-eyed, fake tan wearing, white woman, lives in a country with systems set in place to help her thrive. She may cry herself to sleep the rest of the month, BUT, fear not white-woman, your privilege will very much still be there when you wake up. Just next time, try to be a little less, you know…snowflakey.