To apply to Texas Immersive, an applicant is asked, “Who are you?” and told, “Create something that qualifies as immersive to you…show us who you are.”
Within each of us, knots of ribbons, ropes, and zip ties tie us to different aspects of our lives that make us who we are. Two of these ties can be traced to our cultural ethnicity and our families. My short film depicts my struggle to hold onto those ties while I am a distance away from what felt like the answer to who I am.
The short film takes the audience along a journey of making a homemade meal that only one’s mom can seem to make right and aims to invoke feelings of nostalgia and yearning. From shopping at the Asian supermarket to preparing the vegetables, to plating the meal,
my mom’s voice narrates the video through a phone call as she gives me step-by-step instructions to making braised fish — a childhood staple within Vietnamese culture. There are nostalgic scenes shown of the market such as the bakery filled with cakes that every child can remember peeking at, the deli marketing its deals for dumplings and chicken feet, and an old Asian couple checking out right before me. The camera follows me through the steps of chopping fragrant garlic, shallots, and green onions as I turn on the rice cooker and braise the catfish. My mom questions me about my dinner plans as an act of love from parents that audience members can relate to — a loved one asking if you’ve eaten. At the end of the video, my mom asks, “Do you remember mom and dad?” In the Vietnamese
language, there is no word that directly translates into “miss” like in the English language. Nhớ means to remember. The significance of this word being used is that I miss my parents, but it pains me that I miss them more than I remember them. I reassure my mom that I remember her, but guilt resides in me as my Vietnamese fluency deteriorates, as traces of her Chanel N°5 perfume scent fade from my memory, and the feeling of her hug lingers like a ghost.
On the degree of immersion, it falls within the third quadrant of being experienced from a physically remote, third-person point of view. As for audience intention and motivation, for those who have not shared the same experiences as I have, their intention would be to discover
and to learn. My goal for this experience is for others to learn about the complex dynamics and emotions that a 1st generation college student goes through as they struggle to hold onto their cultural identity in the form of a nostalgic video filmed from the perspective of following me through a grocery store, creating a discovery experience for them. Whereas
for audience members who have been through the same shared experiences as I have, the motivation I hope for them is to feel understood, to self-reflect on their personal relationships with their parents and culture, and them to know they are not alone in their struggles.
Reflecting on my short film now, I realize that I did have target objectives I was aiming for, such as invoking specific feelings. However, if I were to recreate this experience in a more immersive way, I would play on the audience members’ senses and dig deeper into who my audience is and how to create similar feelings between people who are not of the
same cultural identity as me and for those that are. I would do more research on how to allow all demographics of people to feel the same depths of feelings that I did. Adding in the smells of star anise and Coco Rico Coconut soda, I would want my audience to feel surrounded by mothers cooking their signature dish.
My inspiration came from a quote from the memoir, “On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous: A Novel” by Ocean Vuong where the author details his upbringing and adulthood through the lens of a broken, post-traumatic stress disorder-ridden home affected by the aftermath of the Vietnam war.
As my first short film was formally submitted for an application, I applaud my attempt at conveying such rich, intense, complex cultural dynamics, and look forward to retelling this story in a more immersive, audience-oriented way in the future because this is who I am and this is part of my culture, identity, family, and what makes me, me.
