You’re Having an Impact When You Get Your First Hater

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If you’re gay, queer, trans, lesbian, you’re used to haters already.

Today I’m going to respond to the hater, Svetlana Voreskova, on my article:

My intention with this article is to elevate the discussion

Today’s post will only deal with a few of the hater’s inaccuracies.

This is important because we need to see the truth through the rapid-fire response of this hater. It’s a typical tactic in an attempt to overwhelm the human being with fewer rights and privileges.

It’s worth noting that someone can sound book-smart in their writing. If you can stomach reading her response, you will see the challenge she has with logic.

Secondly, some haters don’t want to let us vent steam. They don’t want us to be heard.

They can’t appreciate, or have never considered how we feel as less-than, as “the others” in this world.

  • When you grow up excluded and feel shame about who you are…
  • When you don’t have the same rights as everyone else…
  • When you are bashed or killed for who you are (and the attackers claim “gay panic”)…
  • When you are called faggot, queer, fudge packer, cocksucker, pervert, pedophile, sinner, abomination…
  • When you are fired for loving the same gender and marrying them…
  • When people tell you that you should just try and fit in…

This frustration builds up over time and sometimes we queers have had enough. Especially when a judge rules in favour of maintaining bigotry.


“If you claim to believe in the basic rights of freedom of choice and you do not also respect Cathy Miller’s right to her freedoms of choice, then you are just a hypocrite. I do not go into a Muslim deli and demand a bacon sandwich. I do not ask a Jewish caterer to provide my party with roast pork.”

Two problems with her “argument”:

Freedom of choice is not about the freedom to discriminate against another person.

It’s a slippery slope if Cathy Miller is allowed to not bake a cake for gays or lesbians. Imagine the uproar if she didn’t want to bake cakes for Jews, Blacks, or Muslims. Let’s get crazy here: she might hate men and not bake wedding cakes if a man places the order for his straight wedding.

I am not bacon. Nor am I roast pork. I’m a German sausage!

Go to a vegan bakery and you won’t get cupcakes made with animal products. But they will happily sell their desserts to gays, Blacks, Jews, and Muslims. They’ll just be happy you’re a vegan! Go to Cathy’s bakery and she make cakes. Just not for faggots and lezzies.

“The ruling must stand if your country is to maintain any pretence of being a free one. If it falls then it will set a terrifying precedent because it will encourage all kinds of groups to come forward and intimidate people into complying with whatever their beliefs are.

“In a free country you cannot be forced to provide any service that you do not wish to provide.”

This is the standard argument of bigots, homophobes, and racists.

If we allow this one thing, the apocalypse will be next. Oh dear, if we allow for gay marriage, then who’s to stop people from marrying their pets?

This is not about intimidation from our side.

LGBTQ people have been and are continually intimidated by the government (too numerous to list what the Trump administration has done to diminish LGBTQ rights and equality), the police, neighbours, landlords, and people like this hater.

In a free county (hold on to the the core meaning of free here) you don’t have to provide a service if you don’t want. Don’t want to bake cakes? Try donuts.

However, when you say you won’t bake cakes for a lesbian wedding, now that is not a freedom of choice. That is discrimination.

“This is about a gay couple who are so ignorant not only of the basic concept of human rights, but also of how precarious they are, especially for gay people, that they are willing to allow their self-indulgent attention seeking set a precedent that would have dire consequences for the rights of all people.”

This paragraph makes me want to be sick to my stomach. Do you feel the hatred this woman has for gay people?

“It is about the human right to freedom of choice. I can believe in the tooth fairy if I wish and I can refuse to serve dentists in my bakery. That is up to me. Nobody has the right to make me do something I do not wish to do just because my beliefs are a little quirky.”

Ah, now there’s the creeping racism cloaked in her diatribe. “I can refuse to serve…” Just say it. Just tell us who you are prejudiced against.

“…because my beliefs are a little quirky.”


Is that what you call homophobia and bigotry? Cue the right-wing media machine where we mask the truth with seemingly innocuous words.

Enough said.

Th-Ink Queerly

Th-ink Queerly is a LGBTQ+ magazine that demonstrates our vital role in society to improve humanity and equal rights for all. We critique the status quo and offer solutions to create a more loving and accepting world.

Darren Stehle

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🏳️‍🌈 The Living OUT Coach. Hear Queer Thought Leadership on The Living OUT Podcast. Editor of Th-Ink Queerly |

Th-Ink Queerly

Th-ink Queerly is a LGBTQ+ magazine that demonstrates our vital role in society to improve humanity and equal rights for all. We critique the status quo and offer solutions to create a more loving and accepting world.