TGYN Philly Bar Bracket
In an NCAA-style Tournament, Which Bar Would Reign Supreme?
It’s March and boy, are the people mad! Between all of the conference tournaments and the upcoming Big Dance™ there is a fervor spreading around the country that can only be matched by…uh…how angry people are about literally everything else that’s happening right now.
But you know what? Enough about all of that. We’re not here to concern ourselves with the multiple threats of impending doom that are just steps away from destroying us, we’re here to assign the rules of a single-elimination basketball tournament to something else in an effort to distract ourselves from our harsh reality!
Do you know what else we here at That Good You Need, and we here in the city of Philadelphia, do to distract ourselves? We go to bars! Philadelphia is blessed with a ton of great places to grab a few drinks. Whether you want beer or something stronger, somewhere fancy or a dive, and even whether you’d like to be inside or outside, Philadelphia has it all.
And so, to celebrate the tournament and the beautiful city that we live in, John Petrongolo and I plan on bringing you a look at 64 bars around the city and imagining how they might match-up against one another, tournament-style, until only one of them is left standing.
The Details
Since neighborhoods typically carry a strong vibe here, and since choosing a neighborhood is an important part of deciding where to go out on any given night, we’ve set up our 4 regions based on just that. There’s some muddling, and we’ll get into that, but for the most part we’ve kept it consistent.
The seeding we’ve chosen for these bars is based less on how good we think they are, and more on how they’re generally perceived and trafficked. When it comes to the actual match-ups, though, we’ll be deciding who moves on based not on any advanced calculation or any popularity contest, but on where we generally would rather be. For example, a bar that is more popular and always crowded is more likely to be ranked higher, but when it comes down to figuring out who “wins”, those factors might actually work against the establishment. If you think this is sort of arbitrary and qualitative, and not based in any kind of real evaluation process, you’re right. This is our tournament and we’ll do what we want, nerd! Anyway, this process will become clearer as we look through the regions and, ultimately, start playing out these match-ups.
Also, with some exceptions, we’ve left off places that are more restaurant than bar. For example, Jose Pistola’s is a fine place to drink, but it’s also a fine place to eat. For that reason, it’s not in the tournament. Sure, you can get food at Independence Beer Garden, but you’re not typically going there for food. For that reason, it’s in. If you have any issues with this, please see the preceding note re: this being our tournament and you being a nerd.
A few final notes. Again, this is based on our lives. There are plenty of fine establishments in the city that aren’t on this list for one reason or another. Please don’t take it personally. That being said, we think we did a fairly good job and we’re happy with the list we have compiled. Please feel free to lobby us on Twitter (John, Quags), Facebook, or in real life to push for your favorite bar to win their match-up. We’re not experts, but we do have strong opinions. Still, we’re open to some public debate and recalculation.
And now, with no further ado, the regions.
The Regions
The Eastern State Region
(Fairmount, Brewerytown, University City)
Quags: This is one that stretches a bit geographically over a few different places, and will also feature some genuinely interesting match-ups. Right off the bat you’ve got Urban Saloon, definitely one of the more popular bars in Fairmount, facing off with an extremely lovable dive bar in Era. You’ve got a battle of Penn bars with Smokey Joe’s and Blarney Stone. And you’ve got a place almost no one has heard of but I’ve been to, 2637, facing off with a place that’s popular, sort of nice, generally fine but way too into itself, Jack’s Firehouse. OH BOY!
John: I concur, Luke! (I always wanted to use that phrase!). This region, as stated above, is very intriguing in the nature of its makeup. You have some slotted “college bars” that may have been a staple in one’s weekly rotation — Wednesday’s at Blarney’s, Thursday’s at Cavs, etc. I will not put that nostalgic value past them or be surprised if they make some noise as a lower ranked seed in this tournament of champions! I’m just going to put this out there however… all of the bars are pretty lucky The Blockley Pourhouse [RIP] did not qualify for the tournament. Just Sayin’ !
The Center City Region
(Graduate Hospital, Rittenhouse, Chinatown)
Quags: Center City is both a great place to go out and probably the most overrated part of Philadelphia. In that way, it shares characteristics with a whole bunch of places in this region. And yet, and yet, there are some seriously underrated gems to be explored here.
I’m particularly excited to write about Ladder 15 and I’m even more excited that we didn’t include Howl at the dang Moon on this list because that place is the hottest of garbage.
John: These may become overly crowded; which particularly sucks a big one in the winter when you’re carrying a puffy George Costanza piece. BUT… Center City is probably still the best place to just go to at night for an indecisive person like myself. Options on options! If you’re a single m/f and are looking to meet people IRL, go to one of the more popular joints such as Drinker’s or Ladder. If you’re meeting up with a bunch of friends, or making after-dinner plans, there are plenty of options in center city to just grab a drink! Lately, I’ve been into cocktail type places, due to my serious collection of winter coats and my untrusting relationship with coat checks.
The Hipster Region
(South Philly, NoLibs, Fishtown)
Quags: Here we have an interesting situation, because the bars in these areas do carry a similar vibe, but the areas aren’t near each other. Still, we decided to group them together,
Not only will this region be interesting (The 700 vs Barcade? Boot and Saddle vs The Dolphin?) but I can’t wait to see how whoever comes out of this region fares in the final four.
John: Yup, this is definitely a grouping based on the targeted clientele of these bars. Which isn’t a bad thing. Because I love these bars. You’ll probably see the same people in most of these places — and they probably will be more friendly than the kid trying to cut in front of you to buy a round of jagerbombs at some crowded establishment. Some of these bars have GREAT live music — and that’s one thing I believe Philly needs more of. How awesome would it be to have a strip of live music venues in a row in one section of the city, a la Nashville/ Key West? Do it, someone.
The Historic Region
(Old City, Society Hill)
Quags: I personally feel like I have a bias against Old City and consider it a generally bad place to go out, but looking at this list helped me realize that isn’t really the case. We’ll have some very classic Philly bars here going up against some upstarts who have taken over as of late.
John: I think we are all still mad at Old City for axin’ Sugar Mom’s and Lucy’s…but I’ll forgive you, Old City. The great food that’s there makes a trip to this area worth it most times. Most of these bars are the go-for-a-drink-after-dinner type bars. And that’s perfectly fine now that I’m not as spry as I once was and like to go to bed before 5 am.
Looking forward, we’ll plan to drop the results from our first 32 match-ups on Wednesday. Until then, let us know what you think!
