The Under 30: Austin Eichinger
The Under 30 is a series that explores the lives of the young people around us. Learn more about why we’re doing it here.
Austin Eichinger // 22 // Egg Harbor Twp (Atlantic City is probably cooler) // Son
Editor’s Note: In order to best capture Austin, this foreword was written by none other than his brother, Kyle.
July 1, 1994, the day Austin Eichinger was born. For a long time, I considered this the worst day of my life. Up until this point, I was an only child with all eyes on me, but this changed that forever. I would have to share my parents’ attention with a newborn baby and we all know how fighting for attention with a newborn goes. After a few days of feeling neglected, I asked if we could give him back. While this would have been very nice at the time, my parents emphatically told me, “NO,” and I’m glad that they did because while I could not see this then, he would end up becoming one of my best friends. I’m also not sure if anyone else would have wanted him (he looked like an alien, see below).
Growing up Austin liked playing sports and hanging with friends similar to any normal kid, but there was one thing that he loved… the bathroom. If you know Austin, you know EXACTLY what I’m talking about here. You know how they say we spend 1/3 of our lives sleeping? Well, Austin has spent 1/3 of his life in the bathroom. If you’re ever with Austin and he goes to the bathroom, you’re better off leaving and coming back in a few hours. He’ll go into the bathroom, do some homework, write a few emails, read a book, apply for a few jobs, and maybe even write a song. There have been times where I accidentally walked in on him and he’s just been sitting on the toilet with his laptop watching a movie. It is odd, but the kid just really loves the bathroom.
Austin loves video games, but he tends to get very emotional when playing them. I remember recently, I was watching him play NBA2K17 against a friend and things weren’t going very well. He started losing and began to yell at the players on his team. I’m not sure if he knows this, but he’s the one controlling those players… I don’t have the heart to tell him, though.
The Good Guy
While he may complain the whole time he does something for you (complain is an understatement), you can always count on Austin for a favor. I don’t have enough fingers for the times he’s picked me up drunk and being the last one to turn 21 in his group of friends, he’s done the same for them. Growing up, I would trick him into doing things I didn’t want to do all the time. Boy, do I miss those days.
I’m going to be honest, but Austin is very weird (in the best ways). Just going to leave you with this:
As I said earlier, I’m glad my parents decided to keep Austin because life wouldn’t be the same without him. Yeah, he spends a lot of time in the bathroom and is a pain at times, but he’s a great guy who I’ve been able to make a lot of great memories with (shout out to those ladies on the cruise that we fell in love with). He’s someone who has always been there for me and while I’m not sure I’d trust him just yet as the best man at my wedding, I think he’ll get there some day.
Straight From the Source
What’s your Favorite Hobby?
Gonna go out on a limb and just say being a creative. I enjoying trying to write funny tweets that no one will acknowledge as well as write music that no one knows exists.
What’re you most proud of?
I once ate 5 bowls of Cinnabon cereal in a single sitting. Oh, also the time my parents said they loved me for the first time about a year ago. It’s hard to choose just once since I’m so accomplished but that’s what I’m most proud of.
Where do you hang out?
Either in my bed or in the bathroom. Please just don’t ask why for the sake of my reputation.
What would your ideal job/career be?
I’d love to get the chance to have my own YouTube or Netflix Original sketch comedy show. Always thought I was really funny and had the ability to play different characters. Peep these links…I’m too legit.
What’s the best advice you would give?
Love yourself. Seriously though. I’m not saying in a narcissistic or selfish way. You should love who you are and be comfortable with yourself.
What do you wish you did more of?
Pursue my dreams. It’s hard to do that coming out of college but I wish I was able to just drop everything and do what I wanted (shoutout Lil Uzi Vert).
Why didn’t you make Forbes 30 Under 30?
Blacklisted by the company. They see me as a threat because I am so influential. They are afraid that if I get national acclaim, it will no longer be Forbes 30 Under 30 but Eichinger’s 30 Under 30. It’s ok because this is much more of an honor.
You can keep up with Austin here.