This Week 7.13.18: WWE Extreme Rules
This week at work, I attended an event where everyone had to introduce themselves and, as part of that introduction, provide a “fun fact”. While this is the kind of thing that might horrify some, I quite enjoy sharing a little about myself and like to see what others come up with when they’re put in such a situation.
Recently, when put in this position, I’ve taken to sharing that I’m an avid fan of WWE. I’ve done this a few times now, and there are typically a range of reactions. Most people assume it’s some kind of joke, and wait for the other shoe to drop. When it doesn’t, there’s an awkward silence. Every once in a while, you’ll find that someone else in the room shares an affinity for professional wrestling, and you’ll have a little moment with them. Mostly, though, it’s just the strange sound of a halfhearted, somewhat intrigued, inquisitive sigh.
“Huh.”
In this particular instance, a coworker who I’ve gotten to know a bit commented that she used to think I was joking and is still surprised when I share this, while another pointed out that part of our company is currently doing some work with WWE. This made the exchange long enough that it must have stuck in a few folks minds, and over the next two days — following a company-wide email that had been sent out to promote this Sunday’s WWE PPV event, Extreme Rules — I received several messages wishing me a happy viewing experience.
I haven’t written about wrestling in this space yet, but this week’s exchange inspired me to do so. As a result, here’s a match by match preview of Extreme Rules, which airs this Sunday on PPV and the WWE Network.
A few guidelines. We’ll cover the participants, what’s on the line in each match (pride, momentum, or a belt), and who we might expect to win. Also yes, wrestling is predetermined and scripted, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t fun or worth watching! Have you ever, you know, watched a movie?
It also doesn’t mean that having a belt, which essentially equates to being an ambassador for the company and holding an important position, is meaningless. Being a champion means something and brings with it a certain responsibility, and WWE acts accordingly.
I also won’t be going into too too much detail here, just providing an outline for what to expect Sunday. Plainly put, these storylines are complicated, and this could get really long, really quickly. If you’ve been curious about WWE, check it out! That’s the best way to really learn.
It’s a packed card, but I’ve got you covered. Let’s jump in!
Sanity vs The New Day in a Tables Match
For momentum
This is a preshow match, but it should still deliver some big spots. A “Tables Match” means that all you have to do to win is put your opponent through a table. Sanity is on the come up and is a relatively new tag team. Despite what their name might suggest, they’re quite insane! Imagine that!
New Day is a bundle of fun. Just look at these guys.
They have a trombone! They throw pancakes into the crowd! Their entrance once incorporated an enormous cereal box, which they jumped out of!
They are also almost certainly going to get thrown through a table by Sanity.
Braun Strowman vs Kevin Owens in a Steel Cage Match
For kicks and laughs
Above, you see Braun Strowman, monster heel and enormous individual. Not pictured? Kevin Owens.
Oh, what’s that? Kevin Owens is inside the Porta Potty that Braun is pushing over the edge of the stage? What did that look like afterwards?
Braun has been beating up on KO for a few weeks now. Poor guy. He is gonna get rocked in the steel cage. It should be entertaining, though!
Roman Reigns vs Bobby Lashley
For pride…(ugh)
Since Roman Reigns is really only part of the main event or not much else, and since Brock Lesnar, who currently holds the main event belt on Raw, hasn’t been around, Roman hasn’t really had much to do lately. He had a feud with Jinder Mahal about….*shrug emoji*? Now he’s feuding with Bobby Lashley because, I guess, they are both sort of angry?
By the way, let’s have a look at Bobby Lashley.
That’s just, plain and simple, too many muscles.
Anyway, this match will probably be fine, because despite the fact that WWE fans do not love Roman Reigns, he usually finds a way to put on good matches. But since there aren’t any stakes (or stipulations!!), who really cares, you know? That being said, Roman will win.
Finn Balor vs Constable Baron Corbin
For pride
Finn Balor is a rad dude, and I would almost certainly bet he is going to beat Stephanie McMahon’s personally appointed Constable of Raw Baron Corbin. This feud has produced some pretty good comedy, like Finn repeatedly telling Corbin that his vest makes him look like a TGI Friday’s employee.
Finn wins.
Deleters of Worlds (Raw Tag Team Champions) vs The B Team
For the Raw Tag Team Championship
The B Team has been a really solid gimmick, and their impressions of the Deleters of Worlds was another funny Raw angle.
That being said, the B Team will hang out for a while, but they are not ready to be the Champions. The Deleters of Worlds are over, and they’ve got it going on. They win.
Bludgeon Brothers (SmackDown Tag Team Champions) vs Team Hell No
For the SmackDown Tag Team Championship
I’ve gone back and forth on this one. You might imagine that WWE wouldn’t bring Kane back to do a Team Hell No reunion where they don’t win the tag team titles. And yet, why do they need to? The reunion was fun, but the Bludgeon Brothers have been seriously devastating heels. Let’s say Team Hell No wins, what do they do next? Don’t we want Daniel Bryan doing his own thing, potentially vs. the Miz?
Plus, Kane is running for mayor in Knox County, Tennessee. Does he have time to be running around the ring, defending tag team titles? No! No! No!
Carmella (SmackDown Women’s Champion) vs Asuka with James Ellsworth Suspended Above the Ring in a Shark Cage
For the SmackDown Women’s Championship
I am not sure if Asuka will finally beat Carmella for the SmackDown Women’s title, but gosh I hope she does. Carmella has a little hanger on, James Ellsworth, who will be suspended in a shark cage above the ring for this match. He will probably escape and interfere.
WWE may save the title change for SummerSlam since Carmella did a great job all year, particularly as Miss Money in the Bank, and deserves a good SummerSlam match. But…I don’t know man.
All things considered, it’s time for Asuka to be the SmackDown Women’s Champion, and to potentially set up Charlotte Flair vs Asuka for SummerSlam.
Seth Rollins vs Dolph Ziggler (Intercontinental Champion) in a 30 Minute Iron Man Match
For the Intercontinental Championship
I’m always hesitant to say this because it hardly ever happens how you think it will, but this could very well be the match of the night. These are two of the best workers in the company right now. I would be inclined to think that Dolph will win to retain the belt and set up a rematch at SummerSlam.
One possibility to consider, though, is that Seth may win, and Dolph may challenge him to a rematch at SummerSlam. Having had enough of playing second fiddle, Dolph’s buddy Drew McIntyre may attempt to insert himself into the match, giving us a nice little Triple Threat match with some intrigue. What do ya say?
I think I like that little bit of storytelling, and as a result I’m going to go with Rollins.
Alexa Bliss (Raw Women’s Champion) vs Nia Jax in an Extreme Rules Match
For the Raw Women’s Championship
An Extreme Rules Match basically means….there are no rules. No DQ, no count outs, first pin or submission wins. Oh, and what’s that? Ronda Rousey will be sitting in the front row? Yeah, I’d bet a large sum of money Ronda will be getting involved in this match and, since there are no DQ’s, it won’t even be weird that she does. Can’t wait to wear my brand new ROWDY RONDA ROUSEY shirt and cheer when that goes down.
Outside of Ronda, there may be more people involved. Natalia is conspicuously absent from this card, and has been buddying up with Ronda and Nia. Alexa is hardly ever seen without Mickie James these days. I predict some sort of ridiculous brawl breaks out at some point, and since Alexa is a weaselly heel, that plays to her strengths. Alexa wins.
Jeff Hardy (US Champion) vs Shinsuke Nakamura
For the United States Championship
Another stipulation-free match. For this one, I gotta think Nakamura will win to give his match at SummerSlam a little more juice. Plus, dude needs a title.
Also, as fun as Jeff Hardy is, Shinsuke is equally as fun. Look at this guy.
Say it with me now, NAKA-MURA (clap clap, clap clap clap) NAKA-MURA (clap clap, clap clap clap)
AJ Styles (WWE Champion) vs Rusev
For the WWE Championship
This should be super fun, as AJ is right up there as one of the best guys in the company. Rusev has worked his butt off getting over with fans and “Rusev Day”, where every day is Rusev Day, has been a great gimmick for him.
Alas, it’s not his time. You see that image up above? That’s probably what you can expect on Sunday. AJ will continue his very long reign as WWE Champion, and honestly he deserves it.
Recommendations:
In the spirit of providing you That Good You Need, here are a few things I’d recommend checking out.
- WWE Extreme Rules: Check it out! It’s available on the WWE Network or PPV. You can even try the WWE Network for free for 30 days!
- Succession: I recommended this before, but one of the newer HBO shows has been getting better and better. As an add on, and this piece does a great job discussing one of the most interesting parts of the show, the music.
