What Did You Call Me?
A Letter to My Republican Family and Friends
Sticks and stones
Will break my brones,
But names will never hurt me.
When I’m dead
And in my grave
You’ll be sorry what you called me.
I miss old school nursery rhymes. They were blunt, and not afraid to instill the serious nature of the consequences that could come when one forgets to reign in their moral compass. I often find myself on the opposite end of the spectrum, holding in the truths I want to speak, trying to tip-toe the lines of behavior we accept from those we share blood with, or considered a good friend.
Today I tip-toe around nothing. Today I’m here to tell you that I have had enough of not only your words but your actions.
For over two years, since Donald Trump began campaigning for the presidency, I have been bombarded with your Facebook post full of name calling, hate, racism, sexism, and bigotry. I have been directly and indirectly called a snowflake, democrap, angry mob, cry-baby, leftist nut and SO many more. But here’s what you need to know…
Your words don’t hurt me, they hurt you.
I’m not so fragile that you have managed to hurt my feelings. You haven’t broken down my self-confidence, nor my self-esteem. What you have done is change how I see you, respect you, and the value I place on your inclusion in my family. My circle is small and consist of those that are capable of holding steadfast in their beliefs while respecting that same right in others.
I want you to know that when you called me a snowflake because you assume my generation is soft and entitled, what you actually showed me is that you are incapable of grasping that we all grow and change, and that includes how the world operates around you.
I want you to know that when you shared memes mocking the accusers of Kavanaugh, that you, in turn, were mocking me. I am a victim of sexual assault, that for various reasons didn’t come forward. That doesn’t erase what I endured or make the assailant any less guilty. You showed me that you don’t believe in me and I can’t trust you to believe in my daughters.
I want you to know that when you openly share your disgust of Trans person, wishing to strip away their rights, you sharing your disgust for a child I know, and a family I care about. You have shown me that you will openly disparage a person if they don’t match your black and white version of what people can be. You have shown me that should one of my children happen to tell me they are gay, lesbian, or transexual one day, they will not be safe around you.
I want you to know that my children enjoy their activities with their black, Hispanic, and Muslim friends. I want you to know that I will not let them see the hate-filled rants that get shared across my feeds, disparaging these groups simply because of their religious affiliation or color of their skin. You have shown me that I don’t want your biases influencing my children.
I want you to know that your choice to label me and make assumptions about what policies I am for, simply based on the fact that I do not and cannot support Trump means you never really to the time to know me. You would have known that I vote for whichever candidate aligns with the policies that are best for my family, and those that are providing the best moral example for my children. I have never voted strictly based on party, but you have shown me that you were never really invested in a meaningful relationship, to begin with.
I want you to know that I don’t hold your political or religious beliefs against you, but I do hold you accountable to the highest level when you use those beliefs to disparage, bully, and harass others for theirs.
Your hurtful words and actions will never hurt me, but I hope you can see how they have hurt you.