So Crazy It Just Might Work
A Uniquely American Solution
Armed and adorable
It is irrefutable that within the borders of our great country, we face complex and ongoing problems in need of a uniquely innovative solution. These issues have persisted for decades, reaching a stalemate whenever they fall under the purview of our domestic federal leadership.
The individual states may have their own proposed answers, but they cannot seem to find any common ground. Each one has its own agenda, resulting in a disorganized and ineffective approach towards solving these pressing matters. At the forefront of national discussion are two highly contentious topics. What to do with a fetus and how to regulate gun ownership.
At first glance, these seem as related as pineapples and plaid shirts.
However, to effectively address them, we must adopt a new perspective and step outside the conventional lines of thinking.
There is a belief among some individuals that a fetus is a person deserving of all the rights and protections granted by our United States Constitution.
Similarly, the second amendment guarantees the right to bear arms for all citizens, preventing the government from infringing upon this right.
As I pondered these controversial topics for a couple of minutes, I stumbled upon a potential solution. A solution that I believe that, once presented, we may all find common ground and be united in our collective agreement. My idea?
Arm fetuses.
Yes, you’ve heard me right. If a fetus is indeed considered a person, it should have the right to defend itself. Why not provide it with the means to do so? A specially designed tiny firearm could be developed and inserted into its hand, or hands, after, say, fourteen weeks of gestation under the supervision of a doctor or certified professional.
Heaven forbid, if an abortion were to occur after said point, the armed fetus could defend itself by shooting the doctor or hospital staff. The fetus would be exercising its right to ‘float its sac’ as in the amniotic sac. The act would be like ‘stand your ground’, only by a fetus.
This would not only protect the unborn child but also serve as a powerful deterrent to those contemplating abortion. Imagine the conversations around the water cooler. “Did you hear about the armed fetus law? Makes you think twice, huh?”
Additionally, this would serve as a deterrent for people engaging in intimate activity, as they would think twice knowing that the baby they would conceive may end up armed and dangerous. That would give folks pause, leading to a new era of prudence and caution.
Of course, this idea is still in its conceptual stage and requires further discussion as we work towards a uniquely American solution that involves the collaboration of all citizens.
Let me be clear, if anyone thinks this is a good idea after reading this post, what are you? Nuts? I’m questioning myself for having the notion to write this. I should’ve gone bowling or something until the thought passed.
Thank you.
