7 Reality TV Stars Who Tried to Make It as Singers
From Paris Hilton to Kim Kardashian: Who is the best singer of them all?
Let’s face it: there is a little lustre (and money) left in the music industry. In today’s world record labels are busy buying records of long-established musicians while pop stars scramble to open beauty lines and fashion companies. But before the streaming took over and TV was still a medium the younger generation cared about, things were different.
Back in the early 2000s, MTV abandoned its music-heavy programming for good. The station became a swarm of B-list singers selling their private life, washed-up celebrities looking for love and blonde socialities. It was the mecca of trashy TV before TLC has stolen its crown.
The switch to reality shows has blurred the line between regular celebrities and TV starlets; the new influencers became as popular as singers and actors. It’s no wonder a good few of them tried to venture into traditional forms of entertainment. Add the rise of EDM, where good vocals have been often an obstacle rather than a plus, and you have the perfect concoction.
During my “research”, I’ve discovered Billboard took a stab on this subject, but to my disappointment, I found it a little too cut-dry — almost like someone didn’t even take a listen. Well, I was masochistic enough to do so. So without further ado, let’s travel back in time, when all the worries revolved around DJ not playing your song, and check if we missed a potential genius or a decent album.
Heidi Montag from “The Hills”
Back in the 2000s, the West Coast was the place to be. 2003 saw the premiere of the teen TV drama “The O.C.” which became a cultural phenomenon. The success of the show hadn’t gone unnoticed by MTV, who quickly whisked up a low-budget version titled “Laguna Beach: The Real Orange Country”. MTV may have tried to pass it off as a documentary, but this is where the differences ended. Just like “The O.C”, “Laguna Beach” followed a group of very attractive and very wealthy teenagers entangled in love woes.
The formula has proven to be successful. The MTV show ran for three seasons and even launched a spin-off called “The Hills”, which followed the protagonist of the story, Lauren Conrad, to San Francisco. The Golden City is where she met Heidi Montag — her roommate turned frenemy and eventually the designated bad guy of the story.
Montag played her role perfectly. She was the cartoonish villain to Conrad’s down-to-earth persona. Montag’s brashness and ridiculous antics (excessive plastic surgery, staged paparazzi photos) did grant her a place in tabloids but not the public’s sympathy. It’s therefore no surprise her foray into music had been met with a whole lot of raised eyebrows.
The debut album came out in 2010, just when “The Hills” was about to end. Montag once again embraced her unsavoury reputation by titling the album Superficial. The LP was a dance-pop record, reportedly inspired by the likes of Britney Spears and Jessica Simpson.
It flopped in every sense of the word. Critics (predictably) disliked it, and the public just didn’t care. For Montag, who invested her own money, it was a financial disaster that ended in discontinuing her music career.
Now, this should be the end of the story but it isn’t because as time went by, the reception of Superficial shifted, and the album amassed a cult following. Montag’s husband, Spencer Pratt claimed the album was unfairly judged due to bad press following his wife’s plastic surgery.
So were the critics wrong? Not exactly. The reviews that criticized the album for its shallowness do ring funny in the pop-optimism era but it’s not a hidden gem. Even brushing aside Montag’s limited vocal talent, the Superficial is a watered-down copy of better songs: “Look How I’m Doin” sounds eerily similar to the first seconds of Rihanna’s “Don't Stop The Music”, while verses in “My Parade” resemble Britney Spears’ “If U Seek Amy”. “
All in all, it’s a skip unless you really miss the early 2010’s sound.
Paris Hilton from “The Simple Life”
One could think it would be Paris Hilton’s BFF, Nicole Richie forraying into the music business under the tutelage of her superstar father Lionel Richie. And yet, it was the hotel heiress, who fancied herself a singer and in 2006 released her debut album Paris.
Paris Hilton’s status as the biggest influencer on the planet granted her the right to some of the best producers on the planet. The likes of Scott Storch (“Still D.R.E”, “Let Me Love You”), Greg Wells (“Grace Kelly”, “Apologize”), Dr. Luke (“I Kissed A Girl”, “Say So”) and J.R. Rotem (“SOS”, “Beautiful Girls”) all participated in the album’s production.
And yet the production of the leading single, “Stars Are Blind” entrusted by Fernando Garibay and Sheppard Solomon, who cooked up this reggae-inspired pop song. It was a great choice, as “Stars Are Blind” stood out in the year dominated by Timbaland production, and its smooth melody covered up Hilton’s paper-thin vocals.
The song received positive reviews and found a fan in Lady Gaga herself, who whisked Fernando Garibay away for her 2011’s album, Born This Way.
“Stars Are Blind” peaked at №18 on Billboard 100 list. Spurred by the success, Hilton followed up with “Nothing in This World” produced by Dr. Luke.
Despite the superstar producer, the song was nothing to write home about — and Hilton’s voice, which sounded like it was about to crack every time the chorus hit, didn’t help the matters.
The true gem was the music video. If one gets past the creepiness of the storyline which features a prepubescent kid fantasising about his teacher or classmate (who knows) they may find the essence of the early 2000s: the nerd-popular girl dynamic. MTV’s favourite trope is shown here in its full glory — as Hilton, decked in jewellery, is gyrating on a cabinet stuffed with football helmets, her “love interest” gets his head shown inside a toilet.
If this isn’t a peak 2000s culture then what is?
The single peaked outside Billboard’s main chart and ended the album promotion. The fans of Hilton had to seven years wait for the next offering from the star; the single “Good Time” came out in 2013.
Farrah Abraham from “16 and Pregnant” and “Teen Mom”
It’s time to take a scheduled break from blonde socialities and talk a little about MTV’s programming in the latter part of the 2000s. The TV station had to face the ramifications brought by the global financial crisis. MTV made a switch from the glitz and, well not glamour, but wealth to more relatable shows. Long-running dating shows (“Room Raiders”, “Next”) and celebrity-focused shows (“Cribs”) were replaced by “Catfish”, “Jersey Shore” or “Awkward”, a tv show about a social outcast. Trust fund Californian teens with flat stomachs and seaside mansions had been no longer en vogue; the silver screen was occupied by average folks and oak cabinets galore.
This was where Farrah Abraham came in. The Iowan’s claim to fame was her teenage pregnancy, televised on a show called “16 and Pregnant”. But not only was her story different from her predecessors, but her music was a departure from already mentioned music ventures and mainstream music in general.
Abraham’s 2012 album is one of the weirdest music projects I’ve seen coming from a celebrity. Let’s start with the fact that My Teenage Dream Ended was released simultaneously with her autobiography. Or that its Wikipedia page categorizes the album as “witch house”, “house”, “avant-garde”, “noise”.
My Teenage Dream Ended is plainly bizarre. It sounds like somebody pressed fifteen different sounds and then put disfigured garblings of Abraham in the background. The songs have no chorus and the heavily autotuned vocals are chopped up and barely audible. It’s the music equivalent of Marina Abramovic’s performance art.
Naturally, the weirdness of this calibre was met with polarizing opinions. The initial reviews, in particular, were on the critical side, but some of the publications — including Guardian and Tiny Mix Tapes — included it in their best of the year lists. Over the years the album has been even called the precursor to PC music… and it makes perfect sense. My Teenage Dream Ended does sound like a less polished work of Charlie XCX’s or FROMTHEHEART.
Pauly D and Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino from “Jersey Shore”
So far the list has been dominated by women, but thankfully “Jersey Shore” male stars, Pauly D and The Situation stepped up to provide us with some variety.
Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino was the first to try his luck. In 2010 he released a song named, wait for it, “Situation”. The song featured Fatman Scoop, known for a 1999’s club hit “Be Faithful”. “The Situation” shares some similarities with the track: alarm siren blasting in the background and Fatman Scoop yelling through the entire duration. Sorrentino did add his own twist, slapping an uninspired rapping on top of it.
With that being said time for his co-star Pauly D. Now, it’s technically a stretch to call Pauly D a reality TV star turned musician since he did dabble in DJ-ing before coming onto the silver screen. On the other hand, it’s clear his stint on “Jersey Shore” presented him with opportunities he wouldn’t receive otherwise and it’s this work he’s most recognized by.
In 2011 Pauly D signed a contract with 50 Cent’s G-Note Records. His first one was 2012’s “Night Of My Life” an inoffensive EDM fanfare.
His next single came a year later in the form of “Back To Love”. The backing of the big label has finally borne fruit in Jay Sean’s featuring and official music video.
“Back To Love” was a more polished and more ambitious attempt; an exploration beyond party-oriented tunes. The effort didn’t quite pay off the juxtaposition between sappy lyrics and Jay Sean’s crooning and obnoxious big room drop in the bridge much too jarring to enjoy. It did however perform better commercially, peaking at 113 on UK’s single chart.
Pauly D has since continued to release music and tour, but his contract with G-Note Records appears to have been ended.
Brooke Hogan from “Hogan Knows Best”
And with men sorted out let’s go back to our blondes. The next one on the list is Brooke Hogan, daughter of wrestler Hulk Hogan, who has always dreamed of becoming a singer. The dream that led to the creation of “Hogan Knows Best”.
It was after Hogan’s first attempt at a music career, Mandy Moore-esque single “Everything to Me”, didn’t pan out, she bit the bullet and together with her family agreed to appear on a reality show centred around their family.
The decision to show off their private life paid off, as Hogan quickly found a helping hand in one of the most influential producers of the 2000s, Scott Storch. She became the first artist under his label Storch Music Company.
Hogan took her time; her next single, “About Us” came out in June 2006 — three years after she started recording. The single was exactly what one would expect from Storch. The star producer found initial success as a hip-hop and R&B producer (“Lean Back, “Still D.R.E”), but by the early 2000s, he was also ushering white pop singers into a new era, helping them transition to more urban sound (“Can’t Hold Us Down”, “Cry Me a River”, “Family Portrait”).
“About Us” sounds and looks exactly like this. It has Storch’s signature pulsating beat and a minute-long rap inclusion, which takes place before Hogan opens her mouth. The music video is the usual fare of dance battle in a club.
The single didn’t set the world on fire and ended up as the only promoted song off the Undiscovered album. The album itself did decently; the first week Hogan sold 30,000 copies; the total came to 130,000 copies.
Undiscovered was Hogan’s last work with Storch. Both sides publicly denounced the record. Hogan claimed it wasn’t the true reflection of her artistry; Storch called it subpar, blaming the self-admitted lacklustre production on his cocaine addiction.
Hogan’s next album The Redemption came out three years later, in 2009. As she promised it was a departure from her previous sound. An improvement? Not really. Where Undiscovered had sounded like every other white popstar going urban, The Redemption could be easily confused with Big Mouse’s B-list stars’ music. The one notable thing about the leading single “Hey Yo!” was Hogan pronouncing candy and sexy as “canday” and “sexay” — reminiscent of the early 2000s’ iconic “may”.
Genre wise the album was a mixed bag.“Trust Me” was an attempt at the gospel runs, while “One That Got Away” resembled Ne-Yo’s brand of pop-ish R&B. As expected from personal record guitar appeared frequently, although funny enough it was absent in “Dear Mom”, Hogan’s most revealing song. Dedicated to Linda Hogan; it was a bittersweet number, which expressed her feelings on their parents’ ugly divorce (Hulk Hogan was caught cheating with his wife’s friend) and the aftermath which saw her mother date a ninteenyears old.
Today The Redemption is mostly remembered for its disastrous cover. Hogan has since released only two singles — the most recent one in 2019. She is currently active in wrestling industry.
Kim Kardashian from “Keeping Up With the Kardashians”
At last, comes Kim Kardashian’s only single and easily the worst thing on this list. The forgotten single, “Jam (Turn It Up)” is a relic dating all the way back to 2012, the time when Kardashians were yet to become the cultural phenomena.
“Jam (Turn It Up)” is bad. It’s almost impressive how bad the song turned out. was a work of The-Dream (“Umbrella”, “Single Ladies”, “Baby”).
While the EDM craze brought a wave of uninspired club tracks, at the very least they made you wanna dance. “Jam (Turn It Up)” did no such thing — on the contrary, it sept the energy away. The lyrics begged DJ for a song, but Kardashian’s voice droned like she was severely caffeine-deprived or nursing a nasty hungover.
Production didn’t help the matter. The-Dream must’ve pulled it out from a very deep vault or cooked it in hurry while making dinner. I would bet creating Kardashian’s impressive hair-do took more time than producing this excuse of a dance track.
Kardashian has since publicly stated she regretted recording “Jam (Turn It Up)” and expressed no plans for follow up.
