HELLO THERE
Introducing “The 24 Hour Lunch Break” — Our New Publication
Digestible pieces to extend your lunch break… indefinitely.
Our new publication is inspired by long lunch breaks— of all things.
If it weren’t for long lunch breaks, my lovely girlfriend and I would have never met.
No, we didn’t meet in some busy cafeteria. One of us did not serendipitously bump into the other with a full tray. No cold gazpacho soup was spilled all over the other person’s brand new white dress, and no horrible orange stains were created — despite how suspiciously specific that denial sounds.
If it did happen, I would have been the one doing the spilling. Of course. But it didn’t.
The real story is much better explained by said lovely girlfriend, here. But what I can say, is it involved an online philosophical disagreement about lunch breaks, and how long they should take.
As it happens, I managed to radicalize my long lunch break-hating girlfriend to Our Side — the side of lunch break-defending Heroes. Now she cannot imagine any lunch that doesn’t occupy a full 24 hour day.
OK, I might’ve embellished some things there.
My point is — there’s only 24 hours in a day, and any minute not spent on lunch is, I think you’ll agree, a wasted minute. “Do I mean a literal lunch break, or a metaphorical one,” you ask? My answer: “Whichever makes you happier and keeps your eyeballs on our shit.”
So why Lunch? Because it’s the perfect time of day. You still feel awake and engaged, but you’re also allowing your mind some space to wander and zone out a little.
You distract yourself from the daily grind — perhaps by reading some interesting article about the history of toenail clipping, or the future of earwax removal. (Or hopefully, something more tasteful than either of those.)
It’s no wonder cultures that pride themselves on working to live instead of the other way around really take their lunch breaks seriously.
Here at The 24 Hour Lunch Break, we aim to extend that blissful window of time for you as long as humanly possible — before your real-life duties inevitably catch up with you. “Just one more story, I beg you!”
The 24 Hour Lunch Break started as a labor of love between me, Hans-Manuel de Biekieper, and Laras. Of course, because it’s still labor, we do expect to get paid… handsomely.
In fact, the only reason why we’re doing this is because we want money. M O N E Y. M O O L A H. All the other stuff is just flowery nonsense to distract from our insatiable greed. And the beautiful part is — you probably still think I’m joking.
We write, read and publish stories both
- fictional or non-fictional
- humorous and silly or serious and thoughtful
- bite-sized or an entire meal’s worth
Spanning genres such as personal essays, personal development, and mental health (the “self” tag), relationships, humor and satire, travel, history, the arts and pop culture (the “culture” tag), and fiction. (More information on the kind of articles we publish and don’t publish in the Submission Rules.)
Admittedly, we started this publication as a bit of a personal brain dump and vanity publication for just the two of us. But we very much intend to expand this publication to other writers.
Our goal is to make The 24 Hour Lunch Break into a supportive vehicle for talented new writers — and hell, why not some less new ones too?
We will do our best to hype your shit up — with the enthusiasm of a bunch of soccer moms and dads shouting obscenities at their kid’s opposing team, thereby embarrassing everyone in the process.
So kick back, relax, and remember… Lunchtime Is Forever.
